Jennifer Breheny Wallace

It's, you know, just, I think it's a wonderful thing to think about, and we can do it.

One of... very close friend of mine is Jennifer Wallace, and she wrote a book called Mattering, and I love talking to her because she's, um, the research shows that the people who are the happiest are the ones that feel like their lives matter to others.

Mm-hmm.

And it's so actionable.

He's the former surgeon general under Obama and then Biden.

And look at Jennifer Wallace's work on mattering and all that neuroscience is there.

People are like, "Dementia prevention," and I'm like, "You loving yourself and having a purpose in life?" Is actually huge.

Right.

And those may not be compatible family values, at least for all of your children.

This was Jennifer Wallace.

She

was talking to us about this.

And they're just trying to show you that you don't have power to get them to do something, even though, of course, they still like ice cream.

And then similarly, you know, this question is sage because it's saying, you know, I might think that they do need friends because this seems like social connection and belonging is a major human thing, a la our conversation in the podcast a few months back with Jennifer Wallace.

So knowing that there is this human need for connection or belonging, it's probably not that they don't need friends.

It's probably that right now they're just in a place where either they feel pushed or they've had some negative experiences recently, like being rejected or bullied.

He's sold over 10 million copies of his books and really, in the process, reshaped how we think about successful companies.

Jim and I recorded this episode live on stage at 6th and I in Washington, D.C., where I should say I have an upcoming event with Jennifer Wallace about making meaning in the modern world.

That's on October 29th, and I'd love to see you there.

For Jim's new book, What to Make of a Life, he spent over a decade studying astronauts, rock stars, Supreme Court justices, 34 unusually motivated people looking for patterns, especially in what he calls cliff moments and the fog that follows.

glory, only for joy.

Thank you, Jim Collins, for a fantastic conversation.

And to my friends at Sixth and I in Washington, D.C., again, I will be there October 29th with my friend Jennifer Wallace talking about making meaning in the modern world.

Thanks also to the team at Kelly Corrigan Wonders, our technical producer, Dean Kateri, executive producer, Tammy Stedman, our community engagement folks, Rachel Hicks, Charlie Upchurch, and Mary Bryce, Finally, thanks to you all for listening, for sharing, for rating and reviewing.

I think that many parents feel the urge more than ever to have book tutors and add different math lessons and squeeze in more time after school for after-school activities just in case, because there's an impulse that many of us feel to really have our kids be high-achieving kids.

And Jennifer Wallace wrote about this recently at CNBC, where she talks about in her six years of researching hundreds of high-achieving kids, and she has some criteria for that, she found that the real engine behind long-term success for kids is believing that your worth comes from your inherent value and your ability to make a positive impact in the world.

She calls it a mattering mindset.

Now, before we jump into Jennifer's thoughts on this, I, I kinda wanna hear your comments on this, especially because as a, a parent, I, I really, uh, I don't know if it would be relate to or wrestle with this-

It's, you know, just, I think it's a wonderful thing to think about, and we can do it.

One of... very close friend of mine is Jennifer Wallace, and she wrote a book called Mattering.

And I love talking to her because she's, um, the research shows that the people who are the happiest are the ones that feel like their lives matter to others.

Mm-hmm.

Or if a kid says, "I'm unhappy, this is too much," and parents might say, "No," but I, I feel this great pressure that like, you know, they need to do all of these different things because this gets it for their college resumes or, you know, gets them prepared for their career later or things like that.

My answer is, first, read some of Jennifer Wallace's work on achievement culture.

It can help undermine some of that thinking and help us to kind of figure out the balance between achievement culture and our child's wellness.

And then secondly, what I would say is we still have to key on the kid.