Mm.

Both finding each other and finding ourselves with the use of this wheel, and that's really true.

Like, my, my wife and I have not been doing the wheel together that long, but we're really finding new aspects of each other, and it's such a beautiful way of communicating that helps me not be defensive when she expresses fear, anger, sadness, all, e- etc., thinking that, oh, it's something I did, right? And recognizing, you know, wow, for so long I've kind of taken things on myself or blamed her or thinking I need to change my behavior or she needs to change hers, you know? So I'm currently working on a children's book, and I share the chapters with my family to see if my children have interest in it.

That's proof in the pudding if they're interested in it, and then I share them with her.

Well, I'm talking about some complex things like codependency, um, within trying to use children's language, and that's really hard.

And she told me last night during her check-in that she had fear about sharing this, but that she didn't like the way I had written it- By way of, um, talking about the parents sharing with their children that they had some challenging emotions around parenting, right? It's like, ooh, how do, how do I work with that? And it was so beautiful 'cause I could just ooh her on my side of the couch and listen and be really attuned.

And in the past, something like that would've been painful for me, and I, I could have pulled away and been withdrawn for a couple of days and pretended I was doing okay, but emotionally-

Mm

Yeah.

I loved I loved everything about it.

I wanted to be a rock star.

I looked up to people that, you know, overdosed on heroin.

Those were my idols.

My parents loved it.

And a really funny backstory.

doesn't sound silly at all, brother.

And I forget that all too often.

Yes.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Slower is faster.

Wow.

Wow.

It's just like another layer of releasing what is so held within our body.

Yeah.

And so even just spending like five, 10 seconds just, like, coming to land.

So, like, for me, the way I'm sitting in my chair feels really energetic.

I actually have my legs way out to the side, and I'm kinda sitting forward on my pelvic bones.

But I also, um, have a little bit of hip pain going on on my right side, so it must be catching, Phyllis.

[laughs] I don't know.

But my chest feels very open and expansive and peaceful.

Share some of that with us.

Wow.

But they ultimately did move us out of that region because the situation was so volatile.

And so we ended up going back to Michigan for a year.

And then from there, we went to East Africa, the country of Kenya.

Yeah.

um and we were there for six years and uh so i was the age of up to the age of 14 there in the country of kenya um and that i really referred to as my new bonnie my home that's a kiswahili term for for home and i still feel that country calling me sometimes So much that when I was in my twenties, I went back for a year to teach in, um, a school in Nairobi, the capital city.

And, um, that was a very healthy time for me because I was kind of saying hello to some of the unfinished emotions, um, that had really built up over the years over our very sudden.

Like, ah, don't worry about