TV is like weird and maybe it can show you some things about yourself you didn't know

were there.

I feel like I looked at myself in a different way and I never had seen myself just like cry or like never seen myself feel emotions or I don't know how I'm even like talk you know how you are talking to me like I'm like I don't know like I didn't know like the way I spoke to people and like the way my face is or you know whatever so seeing that and now I'm used to it but at first I was like oh my god like this is so weird for me to watch but I think like besides that I felt very um I felt very like emotional in there, you know, because I was kind of alone at times.

Yeah.

And I just usually call my mom to talk to her, like my best friend.

And I didn't really have that.

But I would say overall, like I did get close to the girls and I was able to towards and like eventually be able to like open up to them.

when he was 14 and yeah.

Is that how you actually feel? Are you good at handling a lot? Or is it like, no, I'm actually just very good at dealing with these scenarios?

I feel like I am good at handling a lot.

I feel like I just, like, have suppressed so much in… I was actually just talking about this, but growing up, I had, like, really bad OCD.

And I would wash my hands till they were bleeding.

Like, it was, like, severely bad.

and I think like throughout time I'm like I can't stop I can't stop it but over time I learned how to like manage that and then it kind of almost became like I don't give a about anything really you know and so I kind of been able to suppress a lot of things and I always have held things in and I've never really like been the type of person to like say anything or like vent things out I kind of just always have walked away from a situation if I didn't.

Like, I'm like, I don't really need to say anything to this person.

Yes.

Are there things that go into being a full-time creator that people don't realize?

I think that people don't really realize how much we put into our posts and, like, the things that we put out.

Like, they're...

I try and make everything really authentic to myself, and, um, I, I don't wanna, like, post, like, all photo shoot stuff.

I wanna do, like, my life.

I wanna show people my life and be, like, real about it.

'Cause truly, I feel like that's how you are authentic online, you know? Like, it's not, it's not all about, like, the, the aesthetics-

When you chase it too hard

Yeah.

And so for me, I, nothing really hurts me.

Like, I have really thick skin when it comes to, like, things people say or, like, maybe an incident that, like...

You know, I, I, I just, like, think, I don't have to, like, say anything.

I can sometimes just distance myself from that person.

But, like, with the situation that happened, I just, like, kind of, um, felt really disrespected and I, you know, I, I didn't, I couldn't give grace 'cause it was, like, not appropriate for me to do that.

[laughs]

What was some of his excuses?