Hudson Lowe

Here, in this harsh and humiliating final chapter, he embarked upon his last and perhaps most successful campaign, the battle for his own legacy.

Under the watchful eye of his jailer, the petty and vindictive Sir Hudson Lowe, a man who seemed to embody all the worst characteristics of the British oligarchy Napoleon despised, he spent his final six years dictating his memoirs to a small coterie of loyal followers.

The result, published after his death as the Memorial de Saint-Hélène, was a masterpiece of political myth-making.

In its pages, he consciously and brilliantly crafted the legend that would define him for posterity.

Those who had triumphed were alarmed.

England had him guarded by Hudson Lowe, and France had him watched by Montchenu.

His folded arms became a source of uneasiness to thrones.

Alexander called him, my sleeplessness.

[laughs]

So there's a man called, uh, General Hudson Lowe-

Yeah

... who is responsible for, uh-

the dissolution of the holy alliance a dream i've had a dream that bodes no good unto the holy brotherhood i may be wrong but i confess as far as it is right or lawful for one no conjurer to guess it seems to me extremely awful methought upon the neva's flood a beautiful ice palace stood a dome of frost-work on the plan of that once built by empress anne which shone by moonlight as the tale is like an aurora borealis in this said palace furnished all and lighted as the best on land are i dreamt there was a splendid ball given by the emperor alexander to entertain with all due zeal those holy gentlemen who've shown a regard so kind for europe's weal at tropau lebach and verona the thought was happy and designed to hint how thus the human mind may like the stream imprisoned there be checked and chilled till it can bear the heaviest kings that ode or sonnet ere yet be praised to dance upon it and all were pleased and cold and stately shivering in grand illumination admired the superstructure greatly nor gave one thought to the foundation much too the tsar himself exulted to all plebeian fears a stranger for madame krdener when consulted had pledged her word there was no danger so on he capered fearless quite thinking himself extremely clever and waltzed away with all his might as if the frost would last for ever just fancy how a bard like me who reverence monarchs must have trembled to see that goodly company at such a ticklish sport assembled nor were the fears that thus astounded my loyal soul at all unfounded for lo ere long those walls so massy were seized with an ill omen dripping and o'er the floors now growing glassy their holinesses took to slipping the sa half through a polonaise could scarce get on for downright stumbling and prussia though to slippery ways well used was cursedly near tumbling yet still twas who could stamp the floor most russia and austria's mong the foremost and now to an italian air this precious brace would hand in hand go now wild old louis from his chair entreated them his toes to spare called loudly out for a fandango and a fandango faith they had at which they all set to like mad never were kings though small the expenses of wit among their excellencies so out of all their princely senses but ah that dance that spanish dance scarce was the luckless strain begun when glaring red as twere a glance shot from an angry southern sun a light through all the chambers flamed astonishing old father frost who bursting into tears exclaimed a thaw by jove we're lost we're lost run france a second water-loo is come to drown you sauve qui peut the fly and the bullock the wise men of egypt were secret as dummies and even when they most condescended to teach they packed up their meaning as they did their mummies in so many wrappers twas out of one's reach they were also good people much given to kings fond of craft and of crocodiles monkeys and mystery but blue-bottle flies were their best beloved things as will partly appear in this very short history a scythian philosopher nephew they say to that other great traveller young anacharsis stepped into a temple at memphis one day to have a short peep at their mystical farces he saw a brisk blue bottle-fly on an altar made much of and worshipped as something divine while a large handsome bullock led there in a halter before it lay stabbed at the foot of the shrine surprised at such doings he whispered his teacher if tisn't impertinent may i ask why should a bullock that useful and powerful creature be thus offered up to a bluebottle fly no wonder said t'other you stare at the sight but we as a symbol of monarchy view it that fly on the shrine is legitimate right and that bullock the people that sacrificed to it THE ENGLISH TOURIST venice and is there no earthly place where we can rest in dream elysian without some cursed round english face popping up near to break the vision mid northern lakes mid southern vines unholy sits we re doomed to meet for highest alps nor apennines are sacred from tredneedle street if up the simplon's path we wind fancying we leave this world behind such pleasant sounds salute one's ear as baddish news from change my dear the funds phew curse this ugly hill are lowering fast what higher still and zooks we're mounting up to heaven we'll soon be down to sixty-seven go where we may rest where we will eternal london haunts us still the trash of almack's or fleetditch and scarce a pin's-head difference which mixes though even to greece we run with every rill from helicon and if this rage for levelling lasts if cockneys of all sects and castes old maidens aldermen and squires will leave their puddings and cold fires to gape at things in foreign lands no soul among them understands if blues desert their coteries to show off mong the wahhabis if neither sex nor age controls nor fear of mamelukes forbids young ladies with pink parasols to glide among the pyramids why then farewell all hope to find a spot that's free from london kind who knows if to the west we roam but we may find some blue at home among the blacks of carolina or flying to the eastward sea some mrs hopkins taking tea and toast upon the wall of china a of all speculations the market holds forth the best that i know for a lover of pelf is to buy marcus up at the price he is worth and then sell him at that which he sets on himself a joke versified come come said tom's father at your time of life there's no longer excuse for thus playing the rake it is time you should think boy of taking a wife why so it is father whose wife shall i take lines on the departure of lords castlereagh and stuart for the continent at paris ei fratr eci rapuere sabilis vicsteniore manus scis hoc menele nefandes oved metamorphoses book thirteen verse two hundred and two go brothers in wisdom go bright pair of peers and may cupid and fame fan you both with their pinions the one the best lover we have of his years and the other prime statesman of britain's dominions go hero of chancery blest with the smile of the misses that love and the monarchs that prize thee forget mrs angelo taylor awhile and all taylor's but him who so well dandifies thee never mind how thy juniors in gallantry scoff ne'er heed how perverse affidavits may thwart thee but show thee young missus thou'rt scholar enough to translate amor fortis a love about forty and sure tis no wonder when fresh as young mars from the battle you came with the orders you'd earned in it that sweet lady fanny should cry out my stars and forget that the moon too was some way concerned in it for not the great regent himself has endured though i've seen him with badges and orders all shine till he looked like a house that was over insured a much heavier burden of glories than thine and tis plain when a wealthy young lady so mad is or any young lady can so go astray as to marry old daddies that might be their daddies the stars are in fault my lord stuart not they thou too t'other brother thou tully of tories thou malaprop cicero over whose lips such a smooth rigmarole about monarchs and glories and knowledge and features like syllabub slips go haste that the congress pursue thy vocation of adding fresh sums to this national debt of ours leaguing with kings who for mere recreation break promises fast as your lordships break metaphors Fare ye well, fare ye well, bright pair of peers, And may Cupid and fame fan you both with their pinions, The one the best lover we have of his years, And the other prime statesman of Britain's dominions.

End of poem To Sir Hudson Lowe e fare cosam nominis ut rume mures hoc tui nomen dedere ad nomen hoc olsonius sir hudson lowe sir hudson lowe by name and ah by nature so as thou art fond of persecutions perhaps thou d read or heard repeated how captain gulliver was treated when thrown among the lilliputians they tied him down these little men did and having valiantly ascended upon the mighty man's protuberance they did so strut upon my soul it may have been extremely droll to see their pigmy pride's exuberance and how the doughty manikins amused themselves with sticking pins and needles in the great man's breeches and how some very little things that pass for lords on scaffoldings got up and worried him with speeches alas alas that it should happen to mighty men to be caught napping though different too these persecutions for gulliver there took the nap while here the nap o sad mishap is taken by the lilliputians ballad for the cambridge election i authorized my committee to take the step which they did of proposing a fair comparison of strength upon the understanding that whichever of the two should prove to be the weakest should give way to the other extract from mr w j banks's letter to mr banks is weak and goulburn too no one ere the fact denied which is weakest of the two cambridge can alone decide choose between them cambridge pray which is weakest cambridge say goulborne of the pope afraid is banks as much afraid as he never yet did two old ladies on this point so well agree choose between them cambridge pray which is weakest cambridge say each a different mode pursues each the same conclusion reaches banks is foolish in reviews goulborne foolish in his speeches choose between them cambridge pray which is weakest cambridge say each a different foe doth damn when his own affairs have gone ill banks he dammeth buckingham goulborne dammeth dan o'connell Choose between them, Cambridge, pray, Which is weakest, Cambridge, say.

Once we know a horse's neigh Fixed the election to a throne, So whichever first shall bray, Choose him, Cambridge, for thy own.

Choose him, choose him by his bray, Thus elect him, Cambridge, pray.