Mm.

Okay? And w- when I talk about leadership and masculine leadership, I don't mean he's the leader.

I just mean he's bringing more leadership.

Like she's bringing her leadership in her own way in certain domains.

My woman brings great leadership into certain domains, you know, and I honor that.

I don't, I don't, you know, try to be the dude that's in charge all the time.

That's silly.

[chuckles]

same thing yes

yeah i do want to let's bookmark that let's go into the blueprint but let's bookmark what we just said because there's a i want guys to understand what the difference between somebody who's truly toxic versus a woman whose needs aren't getting men that's a really clear distinct uh important distinction that one's got to make so let's just bookmark that but let's let's head where you wanted to take us here which is the blueprint and the blueprint My contention is, well, the blueprint has three elements to it.

And my contention is if you embody these three elements, you will be living more from your masculine core.

So this is the paint-by-numbers part of this.

I'm not saying it's easy, but it is straightforward to understand.

And so the three elements of the blueprint are respond versus react.

This is about the quality of a man who's very grounded and His nervous system is settled.

But this is huge that even the most powerful men in the world struggle with this.

So the second element of the blueprint, let's talk about number two.

Yeah, let's move forward with that.

Provide structure, that's the second element of the blueprint, and this is first and foremost...

This is about leadership, but it's first and foremost it starts with inner clarity, and this is, um...

this is...

Inner clarity is like I know my needs, I know my preferences, and I know my boundaries.

So I know myself and what I need to feel fulfilled and respected and, and, uh, in, in, in a relational place that I wanna be.

The third element being create safety.

Can you define that for me?

Yeah, this is the most important one, although it's probably the least understood by guys.

And it talks about physical, financial and emotional safety.

And I don't talk in the book too much about physical and financial.

At some point in one of my next books, I'll cover that.

But I'm not there yet.

But emotional safety is the one that guys really don't understand.

well

So maybe we could start a little bit with the back- your background and how you got into this field.

Sure, yeah.

Well, thanks for having me on, Lawrence.

And, um, yeah, my background, I, I was in Silicon Valley.

I'd, I'd been doing really hardcore Silicon Valley jobs for, for many years.

And, uh, and my marriage melted down.

It was a marriage of 10 years, three kids, and it melted down, and, and I could safely say back then I was a big mess, and I didn't, I didn't...

Of, yeah, can you talk a little bit about, like, natural compatibility where forget about the work we can do, but just, you know, natural compatibility between real type A people and more relaxing people?

That's so true.

Where do I start? Two parts to the question.

Like, what does it look like? But also, what about this where she kind of calls us out and is like, what the hell are you doing? Remember, she's going to resist at first for a couple reasons.

One is it's new and you're awkward with it.

It's like when you change your golf swing.

It always sucks for a while until you get the hang of it, assuming you move to the right golf swing.

So just know that there's going to be some natural bumps and bruises.

Yeah, no, I get you.