Group marriage

Perhaps the time has come for the modern nations, when, ceasing to be children, they may even try to learn it.

End of section 6 of love's coming of age a series of papers on the relations of the sexes by edward carpenter the free society taking finally a somewhat wider outlook over the whole subject of the most intimate human relations than was feasible in the foregoing chapters we may make a few general remarks one of the great difficulties in the way of arriving at any general understanding on questions of sex and one which we have already had occasion to note is the extraordinary diversity of feeling and temperament which exists in these matters needless to say this is increased by the reserve natural or artificial which so seldom allows people to express their sentiments quite freely in the great ocean there are so many currents cold and warm fresh and salt and brackish and each one thinks that the current in which he lives is the whole ocean the man of the world hardly understands certainly does not sympathize with the recluse or ascetic and the one of appreciation is generally returned the maternal the sexual and the philanthropic woman are all somewhat unintelligible to each other the average male and the average female approach the great passion from totally different sides and are continually at odds over it and again both of these great sections of humanity fail entirely to understand the other and well-marked class of persons whose love attraction is inborn towards their own sex and indeed hardly recognise the existence of such a class although as a matter of fact it is a large and important one in every community in fact all these differences have hitherto been so little the subject of impartial study that we are still amazingly in the dark about them when we look back to history and the various customs of the world in different races and tribes and at different periods of time we seem to see these natural divergencies of human temperament reflected in the extraordinary diversity of practices that have obtained and been recognized we see that in some cases the worship of sex took its place beside the worship of the gods and what appears equally strange that the orgiastic rites and saturnalia of the early world were intimately connected with religious feeling we find that in other cases asceticism and chastity and every denial of the flesh were glorified and looked upon as providing the only way to the heavenly kingdom we discover that marriage has been instituted and defined and sanctioned in endless forms each looked upon as the only moral and possible form in its own time and country and that the position of women under these different conditions has varied in the most remarkable way that in some of the primitive societies where a group marriage is footnote see note on the primitive group marriage infra footnote of one kind or another prevailed their dignity and influence were of the highest though under some forms of monogamy as among the nagas of bengal footnote le tonneau evolution of marriage page one seventy three mentions also among the inferior races who have adopted monogamy the vedas of ceylon the bokeh mens of south africa and the kerneis of australia women have been abjectly degraded while under other forms as in ancient egypt and the later roman empire they have been treated with respect and so forth we cannot fail i say to recognise the enormous diversity of practice which has existed over the world in this matter of the relations of the sexes nor i may add can we venture if we possess any sense of humanity to put our finger down finally on any one custom or institution and say here alone is the right way On the contrary, it seems to me probable that, broadly speaking, a really free society will accept and make use of all that has gone before.

if

as we have suggested historical forms and customs are the indication of tendencies and instincts which still exist among us then the question is not the extinction of these tendencies but the finding of the right place and really rational expression for them that the various customs of past social life do subsist on beneath the surface of modern society we know well enough and it seems likely that society in the future will have to recognize and to a certain extent transform these in fact in recognizing it will inevitably transform for it will bring them out from darkness into light and from the old conditions and surroundings of the past societies into the new conditions of the modern polygamy for instance or some related form of union supposing it really did spontaneously and naturally arise in a society which gave perfect freedom and independence to women in their relation to men would be completely different in character from the old-world polygamy and would cease to act as a degrading influence on women since it would be the spontaneous expression of their attachment to each other and to a common husband monogamy under similar circumstances would lose its narrowness and stuffiness and the life of the hetaira that is of the woman who chooses to be the companion of more than one man might not be without dignity honour and sincere attachment again it is easy to see if the sense of cleanness in sex ever does come in if the physical body ever becomes clean which it certainly is not nowadays clean and beautiful and accepted within and without and this of course it can only be through a totally changed method of life through pure and clean food nakedness to a large extent and a kind of saturation with the free air and light of heaven and if the mental and moral relation ever becomes clean which can only be with the freedom of woman and the sincerity of man and so forth it is easy to see how entirely all this would alter our criticism of the various sex relations and our estimate of their place and fitness in the wild and even bacchanalian festivals of all the earlier nations there was an element of nature sex mysticism which has become lost in modern times or quite unclean and depraved yet we cannot but see that this element is a vital and deep-lying one in humanity and in some form or other will probably reassert itself on the other hand in the monkish and other ascetic movements of christian or pre-christian times with their efforts towards a proud ascendancy over the body there was commonly sneered at though it may be in the modern west an equally vital and important truth see remarks on the early star and sex worships infra which will have to be rehabilitated the practices of former races and times however anomalous they may sometimes appear to us were after all in the main the expression of needs and desires which had their place in human nature and which still for the most part have their place there even though overlaid and suppressed beneath existing convention and who knows in all the stifled longings of thousands and thousands of hearts how the great broad soul of humanity which reaches to and accepts all times and races is still ever asserting herself and swelling against the petty bonds of this or that age the nearer society comes to its freedom and majority the more lovingly will it embrace this great soul within it and recognizing in all the customs of the past the partial efforts of that soul to its own fulfilment will refuse to deny them but rather seek by acceptance and reunion to transform and illumine them all Possibly, to some, these remarks will only suggest a return to general confusion and promiscuity.

do we not want a truly experiential view of what may be called religion derived from the largest actual acquaintance with and acceptance of all the facts both of mundane and extra-mundane consciousness neither like some secularist denying the one nor like some religionist minimising or condemning the other And is it not possible that in the early star and sex worships we have evidence of the attempt of the human mind to establish some such sane polarity? End of section number eight, read by Kevin Waters, Spring Hill, Florida, September the 16th, 2021.

SECTION IX.

NOTES ON THE PRIMITIVE GROUP MARRIAGE.

one of the early forms of union among human beings appears to have been that of the group marriage which was an alliance between a group of men and a group of women it had various forms but rested in general on the fact that the women in primitive societies did not on marriage leave their parental habitation but remained there and were visited by the men by one man first who would come with presents of game etc from the chase and would afterwards bring his brothers or friends thus in general a group of brothers would come into relation with a group of sisters in such a state of society however it is obvious that parentage would be very uncertain and the terms brother and sister would not always have the stricter meanings which we give them Such a group marriage was the penongua, or friend marriage, of Morgan's North American Indians, which is also supposed by Marx and Engels to have prevailed at an early time throughout Polynesia.

and sanctioned in endless forms, each looked upon as the only moral and possible form in its own time and country, and that the position of women under these different conditions has varied in the most remarkable way.

That in some of the primitive societies where group marriages—footnote, see note on the primitive group marriage, infra, end footnote—of one kind or another prevailed their dignity and influence were of the highest, though under some forms of monogamy, as among the Nagas of Bengal—footnote, Le Tourneau, Evolution of Marriage, page 173, mentions—also among the inferior races who have adopted monogamy, the Vedas of Ceylon, the Bokemens of South Africa, and the Karnais of Australia—end footnote—women have been abjectly degraded, while under other forms, as in ancient Egypt and the later Roman Empire, they have been treated with respect, and so forth.

We cannot fail, I say, to recognize the enormous diversity of practice which has existed over the world in this matter of the relations of the sexes, nor, I may add, can we venture, if we possess any sense of humanity, to put our finger down finally on any one custom or institution and say, here alone is the right way.

On the contrary, it seems to me probable that, broadly speaking, a really free society will accept and make use of all that has gone before.

Section 9 of Love's Coming of Age This is a LibriVox recording.

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For more information or to volunteer, please visit LibriVox.org. Read by Susan Russell Love's Coming of Age A series of papers on the relations of the sexes by Edward Carpenter Section 9 Notes on the Primitive Group Marriage One of the early forms of union among human beings appears to have been that of the group marriage, which was an alliance between a group of men and a group of women.

It had various forms, but rested in general on the fact that the women in primitive societies did not on marriage leave their parental habitation, but remained there and were visited by the men, by one man first who would come with presents of game etc.