But I don't feel that sense of calling that I had before.

Mm-hmm.

Greta, did you encounter those kinds of stories? I did, and all of the stories pissed me off, yeah.

Yeah.

Right after my diagnosis, my closest friends and family sent me all of these kind of loss and renewal inspiration stories.

I mean, and you know, they are beautiful stories that I can appreciate more now.

At the time, they all pissed me off.

Was there a moment when you realized that you had to kind of let go?

my vocal situation.

So anyway, I decided, well, I couldn't live anywhere so long as I'm safely socially distanced, like socially isolating.

So I moved to Springdale, Utah to live in a hotel right outside Zion National Park.

for that summer.

And the first summer of the pandemic, the park was closed.

You know, the country was closed to international visitors.

And then also the park was closed to commuter cars.

Can you talk about how this experience has reshaped your identity?

Yeah.

And he was talking about the kind of sacred connection between grief and aliveness, and he says that grief and aliveness are like sisters.

And I had always been so scared of grief because my best friend committed suicide when I was in high school.

My great-grandmother had been, you know, put into a, an insane asylum, essentially, for grief.

My relationship with grief is like, if you s- touch it, it will pull you under, and you will never come up.

And so I was always very resistant to actually grieving what I had lost.

But on the flip side of that, I kept diminishing my own pain, which you can't process your own pain if you're diminishing it.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Or at least try.

Even when I have heartbreak songs, I try to kind of turn them out and turn them into love songs.

So this is a little piece of a minute of a love song.

[singing] I'm back in love tonight.

I'm just blood and breath and starlight.

How could I ever forget to feel your love around? How could I ever forget you're every flower underground? How could I ever forget to hear your voice in the sound of the wind? How did I go numb again? How did I go numb again? How did I go numb again? How did I go numb again? I'm back in love tonight.

Yeah.

(laughs)

It was very Almost Famous.

Like, it was deeply, deeply, Almost Famous.

And so I started very young, and music was the greatest love story of my life.

And over the course of 16 years, I kept cultivating my voice, cultivating my writing abilities.

In 2018, I joined Vampire Weekend as a touring member and was just having the wildest high life of music experience one could imagine.

The Hollywood Bowl and Red Rocks and Madison Square Garden.

(laughs)