Garanimals

Th- like this is so- something new.

No. We've been accusing this dude of being gay ever since we looked at him, and we looked at the fact that his arms look like a number two pencil, and he's five foot seven, and he wears a size small pants, and his pants are probably Garanimals, and he lives with his mom, and he's 37, and he's never had a girlfriend.

He's never been married, doesn't have any kids.

He has a vegan campaign.

Hey, hey, don't forget that he has a joint, uh, checking account with his mom.

Oh, we remember that, but that's not, that doesn't lean toward sexual orientation as much as it leads, leans towards some sort of arrested development immaturity.

No, but when Garan- what is it, Garanimals or whatever the heck it is?

Garanimals.

[laughs]

It was like he was the toughest dude alive wearing Garanimals on the sideline.

[laughs]

[laughs] Ah.

Oh, and here's another one.

It happens a lot here in Miami, is they wear the, like, head-to-toe designer label where it says, like, Louis Vuitton or Balmain, or whatever the stupid designer logo is, and all I see is, "I'm a tool." Because if you're wearing a shirt, if you're wearing a shirt, if you're wearing a set, a matching set like you're an eight-year-old wearing Garanimals from the '80s, if you know, you know, you look so silly.

You really look like a grown-up- You look like a giant toddler when you're wearing a matching set, like a matching shirt and matching pants, and it says Louis Vuitton all over both of them, and that, so that tells me that you are wearing a $4,000 Garanimal set.

And that doesn't make me think, "Oh, wow, this person has money." It makes me think, "Is this person that stupid that they would spend, like, $4,000 on an outfit that you can only wear once 'cause everyone's gonna remember it?" You know what I mean? And also, even if you did decide to, to wear it multiple times, it's out of style next year 'cause anyone who actually knows what it is knows that that was last- You know what I'm saying? Like, it's just, what are you doing, bro? Stop it.

Join me as I share weekly snippets of insight and inspiration for your next aha moment.

Today's topic is Garanimals for Life.

It was during a back-to-school shopping trip when I was first introduced to the wonderful world of Garanimals.

I was only seven years old at the time, yet the concept behind this brand fascinated me.

I left the store that day with my very own Garanimals outfit just in time to kick off second grade.

I still remember that striped top and those green pants with the wooden button.

The genius behind Garanimals was based on their animal tag system, which provided each piece of clothing with a designated animal, such as a lion, giraffe, or hippopotamus.

You simply matched pieces together that had the same animal.

The runner-up, Congressman Jared Golden, lame duck Democrat.

At least that's what's stitched into his Garanimals.

Congressman Mike Lawler of New York State is that worst kind of Trump whore.

He is the Trump whore who always votes with Trump and yet pretends he's not a Trump whore.

Well, you could've been, you could've been a fashionista at seven.

You were probably still in Garanimals at that point.

I don't think I have ever been, nor will I ever be, considered a fashionista.

[laughs] Which is why I said you were probably in Garanimals.

[laughs]

I don't know that I ever wore Garanimals.

Oh, that's, that's a thing.

[sighs]