Yeah

... being here with us right now, right? Just pressing play on a Michael Beckwith podcast s- is a signal that you are indeed ready, willing, and desirous of connecting to your own spiritual relationship.

They...

Anyone that's listening wouldn't be here right now if that desire wasn't planted in them.

And so it begins with the willingness to see through that lens of spiritual connection, and through the lens of love, and through the lens of possibility and hope.

And to find ourselves in those moments when we're looking at our life and saying, "There has to be a better way."

Mm-hmm.

So you check and you see, okay, do I feel calmer? Do I feel more compassionate towards that part of me? Do I feel more connected? Do I feel clear about what I need? Do I feel some creative energy buzzing inside? And it's these four steps of getting into relationship with the part, rather than shunning the part and saying, "Oh, that's such a bad part of me.

Mm.

And therefore, we're f- gonna start to attract people, places, circumstances, and lack into our life as a result of the energy that we're putting out and the belief systems that we carry.

And so that's not to sit there and say, "Oh, you know, I'm, I'm bad, I'm doing something wrong." It's just saying, "No, there's something I need to heal." And that is the recognition, that's the gentle witnessing, that's the non-judgmental witnessing, which is very different than judgment, than a self-attack, than saying, "Oh, I'm making my life so horrible." That's not the case.

You just have core beliefs that are young.

They're like little children inside of you, and they need your attention.

And these beliefs have been around for as long as you can remember, and they deserve to be witnessed.

Yeah.

But the book called Self Help, it's the greatest manifesting book I've ever written.

... and faking it?

Fake it till you make it only works if that pa- part of the journey feels good to you, right? So, uh, fake it till you make it, let's say, you know, y- you're showing up every day and you're finding the joy in the moment, and you're celebrating that online, and you're sharing that expression of joy.

Okay, that's actually making you feel good.

That's gonna create more of what you want.

But being showy, uh, fake, fake, uh, fake content, [laughs] uh, actually is the opposite of manifesting.

Because what that will do is it will put you in the seat of shame.

'Cause when you put that post out, and inside you know that's actually not who I really am, and then the energy is thirsty, and it's kind of like, like me energy, right, tag me energy, like me energy, that's a frequency that you, the viewer, can feel on the other side, and you, the creator, feel on your side.

And literally within 24 hours, I got an email about an old company I had that I'd closed down in credit seven years ago, and they were p- sending me 5,000 pounds.

Thank you.

I was texting with a friend and it kinda came out.

And she's a sober friend.

She's like a big, big musician.

She's big, lots of, lots of, lots of pressure on her back, and she was getting, having, getting a little down about something, and she...

Huge show and, and I texted her and I just said, uh, what did I write to her? I said, I said, "Let God handle it," you know? Let, let, like just let God handle it.

And I was like, you know what? This is what I would want to say to the world, just like let love take it.

Sure.

Get ready for your next-level self.

First, it's about clarity, knowing how you wanna feel, right? We manifest how we feel.

We manifest who we are.

We manifest what we believe.

So instead of just thinking, "Oh, I want that thing, I'm gonna write it down 1,000 times," or, "I'm gonna make a vision board," or, "I'm gonna put a statement out to the universe," all that's great, but it's really what is the story or belief that's blocking me from th- this desire that I really want? And the real manifesting work is to recognize those beliefs and patterns that are holding us back and start to tend to them, start to offer connection inside, start to lean into a different perspective so that we can heal the wounded parts of ourselves that block us.

Now, I think that when we know what we don't want, we have more clarity about what we do want, and, and knowing what we do want allows us to recognize the feelings and the energy that might be associated with what it is that we want, right? So maybe we want financial freedom.

Well, what does that feel like inside? Or we wanna have a, a more romantic relationship.

And would you say that that's, like, the big disconnect around people who are trying versus the people who are actually manifesting and, like, creating that dream life?

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Mm-hmm.

What that's doing is, in IFS language, internal family systems therapy, it's nothing to do with family therapy, although it kind of comes from that core, core model, but it is based on your inner family.

Inside of us we have multiple different parts.

Yeah.

The, they're not bad.

These parts are very valuable.

They have had a very important role in our inner system, and the role is to keep us safe from the extreme terror, shame, and fear of these exiled child parts.

Yeah

...

I'm a recovering work addict.

Uh, what do we do with that? We, w- we, w- we will do anything we can to avoid those impermissible feelings, and we will do everything that we can to prove our worthiness to the world.

One of the fastest ways to get that approval and proof is through success, particularly in Western cultures, right? So we have this massive desire to succeed not just for the success of the work that we do, which in our field is very good work and really doing good in the world, but it also has a dark side if it's, if it's driven by workaholism.

And I'm sure many of your listeners are sitting here thinking, "Oh, that sounds too familiar." And the way that I know that it's no different than alcoholism or drug addiction is I got sober from alcohol and drugs 16 years ago only to then pick up the workaholism.

So the same root cause was there at the...

Can you go over these steps?

Mm.

And so I've started thinking about that for myself as, like, you know, can I address the reality of what's happening and bring a hopeful, more optimistic energy to it?And I, I want to do that, like, in micro ways, right? Like, in, in my work relationships, like I was sharing earlier, or in, in larger scale ways when I'm, you know, sp- speaking on behalf of what...

Or, or, you know, at the dinner table with my in-laws and we start going down the road of, of, you know, AI, or we start going down the road of war, or whatever the, the next scary topic is.

Yeah.

When we're in resistance, and we're pushing, and we're trying, we're actually deflecting the miracle, or deflecting the inspired idea, or the person who wants to help, or the email that we would otherwise miss because we're tr- we're trekking through so hard.

Instead, if we step back for 24 hours, not for five years, and just say, "Okay, I need to, to, to witness.

I need to listen.

I need to, to, to, to, to rewire my nervous system," then we can be in a receptive state to actually listen to our gut, listen to-

And what was it that took you and drew you to IFS? How did that come to be in your life, and where were you at in your life when this became something that was relevant for you?

It was a real accident, I didn't know that it was there.

I was, uh, with the same therapist for about seven-ei- seven or eight years.

And midway through my therapy, I actually remembered in a dream, trauma from my childhood.

Extreme trauma, big T trauma.

In that journey of undoing that trauma, she began practicing IFS with me.

I didn't know that we were doing it, I just was doing the thing that she wanted me to do, and it was actually really hard for me to do at the time because she was wanting me to start to tap into these aspects of myself and start to get to know, get into relationship with the addict, or the- the anxiety, or the extreme patterns of rage, or the controller, which were all protection mechanisms that had been blocking me from remembering that trauma.

Yeah.

And what was it that took you and drew you to IFS? How did that come to be in your life, and where were you at in your life when this became something that was relevant for you?

It was a real accident.

I didn't know that it was there.

I was, uh, with the same therapist for about seven, ei- seven or eight years, and midway through my therapy, I actually remembered in a dream trauma from my childhood.

Extreme trauma, big T trauma.

In that journey of undoing that trauma, she began practicing IFS with me.

I didn't know that we were doing it.

Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

... and trusting that there's a presence beyond our physical site that's supporting us.

So when we start to lean into what that means to us, I'm never pushing any ideas, that's the nice thing about my work, it's you choose your own adventure, I'm gonna tell you my story and you lean into what works for you.

But when I speak about tapping into that nonphysical presence, we start to notice that if we begin to collaborate with an energy beyond our physical site, we feel far less alone, and we can recognize there is a presence of love that is within me and around me that's guiding me, that's protecting me, and when I strengthen my faith in that presence, then I can trust my intuition, I can trust the signs I'm receiving.

Maybe you just call it the universe, the energy of the universe.

(laughs) That's okay.

And just roll your shoulders back, and maybe tuck your chin under and just feel that alignment in your spine.

Get that body into alignment, maybe roll your neck side to side.

(laughs) That's okay.

And just roll your shoulders back, and maybe tuck your chin under and just feel that alignment in your spine.

Get that body into alignment, maybe roll your neck side to side.

Taking a deep breath in, and on the inhale I want you to extend your diaphragm and fill it up like a balloon.

And on the exhale, let that breath go.

Breathing in, allowing that diaphragm to extend.

And on the exhale, let's let that go.

Can you give me an exercise that will help shift me from a negative thought to a positive thought?

Of course.

... because if I'm in anxious state, I don't have to feel the horror and the, th- the s- this fear and terror of that other state.

So that's a manager, th- the parts of us that are with us all day long, managing the big feelings of the exile, okay? And then when the managers don't work anymore, like let's say something very big happens in your life, something extreme, and the managing's no longer working, that's when the firefighters come in.

The firefighters will do whatever it takes to put out the fire of those impermissible feelings, and that's when you pick up the drugs, pick up the workaholism, pick up the alcohol, the sex, the porn, the binging, the extreme addictive parts of ourselves.

And those are the, the most extreme parts of us, are the ones that are working the hardest to keep us safe from those feelings.

And if so, then what is that process?

Okay, so first of all, 100%, that's exactly the answer, this is the four-step process.

The other thing is, is how many personal development programs have we sat in where someone's like, "Oh, you have limiting beliefs, and the limiting beliefs are blocking you." Then you're like, "How the (censored) do I get rid of these limiting beliefs," right? Like, there, you never leave and you're like, "Okay, I know the playbook," right, for changing.

Uh-huh.

Choose to check in.

So you have this awareness that the part's triggered and you're saying, "Okay, I'm gonna choose to check in right now." So you, you, step one, that's it.

Choose.

And if you know that you feel that buy-in, like, okay, the part's ready to go, we can get, we can keep going, right? Choosing to check in is also just sometimes even having the awareness that you need to check in 'cause that's like step one.

Step two is curiosity.

Become curious.

Effortless.

You most want people to know ...

I want everyone to know that everyone is entitled to miracles, that everyone is, that miracles occur naturally.

As A Course in Miracles says, "Miracles occur naturally, and when they're not occurring, something has gone wrong." We have the capacity to lose the weight.

We have the capacity to earn the money.

We have the capacity to live a far greater life than we perceive we do, but we have to make that decision.

We have to exercise that free will and make that conscious choice to see differently.

[laughs]

And [laughs] ...