Fine

I worked there for two more years, after which I left for a job offer I couldn't refuse, and yeah, I gladly have beaten cancer and have been healthy for over half a decade now.

And the next one is also from r slash malicious compliance and is titled Fine, I will leave now.

A few years ago I worked for a private food inspection company that contracts inspectors out to various companies and it is a complicated process that involves federal, state and county governments as well as industry-driven private regulatory agencies.

And yeah, what can I say, I loved inspection and was asked to take a clerical position in the district office my second season and I happily accepted it.

That's wrong.

The Girl in the Red Dress and the fact that the Fines guy was genuinely terrifying.

uh anyways well your next movie since you skipped hotel rwanda

nowhere to go what up 2002's showtime that would that would be a perfect skip i don't know i probably saw this movie like three times when it came out

I mean, let me ask you to put your consultant hat back on.

Like, the worst thing that the FCC could do to Jimmy Kimmel is make him put on Ken Paxton, who Donald Trump said is, quote, "Badly dressed and ugly." Why not just call their bluff in that way and say, "Fine, Ken Paxton can come on.

Trump says he's an ugly toad"?

I mean, I think, [laughs] I don't think Ken Paxton actually has called to come on.

Right.

Make them do that.

Or say, "Fine, we'll put on Paxton." I mean, Trump doesn't even like, seem to like him.

No, and I, I frankly don't think Ken Paxton would bode well actually at the interview with Jimmy Kimmel, or will he even make the flight out there? Does he even have any money? Because, you know, the Paxton campaign is not necessarily raising the kind of cash that the Talarico campaign is raising.

Snape doesn't really matter.

Um, as long as this guy nails the character, Fine.

I want to see what he can do with that because Snape is a complex layered character.

He was that way through eight movies.

I wasn't expecting like a, no, throw the book out on suspension, but like a 10 game suspension.

Fine.

All right.

We didn't find you much, but you're going to miss some time.

He stretched out his hand to pluck some of it but his companion turned in her saddle and forbade him "there is nothing safe for thee to eat here" she said "save an apple which i will give thee presently If thou touch aught else thou art bound to remain in fairyland forever." So poor thomas had to restrain himself as best he could and they rode slowly on until they came to a tiny tree all covered with red apples The fairy queen bent down and plucked one and handed it to her companion This i can give thee," she said "and i do it gladly For these apples are the Apples of Truth and whoso eateth them gaineth this reward: That his lips will nevermore Be able to frame a lie." Thomas took the apple and ate it and forever more the grace of truth rested on his lips; and that is why in after years men called him True Thomas.

They had only a little way to go after this before they came in sight of a magnificent castle standing on a hillside Yonder is my abode," said the queen pointing to it proudly There dwelleth my lord and all the nobles of his court And as my lord hath an uncertain temper and shows no liking for any strange gallant whom he sees in my company, I pray thee both for thy sake and mine To utter no word to anyone who speaketh to thee And if anyone should ask me Who and what thou art I will tell them That thou art dumb So wilt thou pass unnoticed in the crowd With these words the lady raised her hunting horn and blew a loud and piercing blast and as she did so A marvelous change Came over her again for Her ugly ash-covered gown dropped off her and the grey in her hair vanished and She appeared once more In her green riding skirt and mantle and Her face grew young and fair And a wonderful Change passed over Thomas also For As he chanced to glance downwards He found that his rough country clothes Had been transformed Into a suit Of fine brown cloth And that On his feet He wore satin shoon Immediately the Sound of the Horn rang Out The doors of the Castle flew open And the king Hurried out To meet the Queen Accompanied by Such a number Of knights and Ladies Minstrels and Page boys That Thomas Who had slid From his palfrey Had no difficulty In obeying Her wishes And passing into The castle Unobserved Everyone Seemed very Glad to see The queen Back again And they Crowded into The great Hall in her Train And she Spoke to Them all Graciously And allowed Them to Kiss her Hand Then she Passed with Her husband To a dais At the far End of the Huge apartment Where two Thrones stood On which the Royal pair Seated themselves To watch the Revels Which now Began Poor Thomas Meanwhile Stood far Away At the other End of the hall Feeling Very lonely Yet Fascininated By the Extraordinary Scene on which He was Gazing For although All the Fine ladies And courtiers And Knights Were dancing In one Part of the hall There were Huntsmen Coming and Going in Another part Carrying in Great antlered Deer which Apparently they Had killed In the chase And throwing Them down In heaps On the floor And there were Rows of cooks Standing beside The dead animals Cutting them Up into Joints and Bearing away The joints To be cooked Altogether It was such A strange Fantastic scene That Thomas Took no heed Of how the Time flew But stood and Gazed and gazed Never speaking A word to Anybody This went on For three long Days Then the Queen rose from Her throne And stepping From the Dais Crossed the Hall to where He was standing Tis time to Mount and ride Thomas," she Said "if Thou Wouldst Ever See the Fair castle Of Erkeldoon Again Thomas Looked at her In amazement Thou spokest Of seven Long years Lady," he Exclaimed "And i have Been here But Three days The queen Smiled Time Passeth Quickly in Fairy land My friend," she Replied Thou thinkest That thou Hast been Here but Three days Tis Seven Years Since we Two met And Now it Is time for Thee to Go I would Fain Have had Thy presence With me Longer but I dare Not for Thine own Sake For every seventh year an evil spirit cometh from the regions of darkness and carrieth back with him one of our followers, whomsoever he chanceth to choose.

And as thou art a goodly fellow, I fear that he might choose thee.

So, as I would be loath to let harm befall thee, I will take thee back to thine own country this very night." Once more the gray palfrey was brought, and Thomas and the queen mounted it.

His real name was the Laird o' Colzine [and his descendants today bear the proud title of Marquesses of Ailsa]; but all up and down Ayrshire nobody called him anything else than the Laird o' Cove because of the coves or caves which were to be found in the rock on which his castle was built.

He was a kind man and a courteous always ready to be interested in the affairs of his poorest neighbours and willing to listen to any tale of woe.

So when a little boy came across the Green carrying a small can in his hand and pulling his forelock asking him if he might go to the Castle and get a little ale For his sick mother the laird gave his consent at once and patting the little fellow on the head told him to go to the kitchen and ask for the butler and tell him that he (the laird) had given orders that his can was to be filled with the best ale that was in the cellar Away the boy went and Found the old Butler who after Listening to his Message took him Down into the Cellar and proceeded To carry out His master's Orders there was one Cask of particularly Fine Ale which was kept Entirely for the laird's Own use which had been Opened sometime Before and which was Now about half Full I will fill the Baron's Can out of this Thought the Old Man to Himself tis both Nourishing and light The very thing For Sick folk So taking The can from The child's Hand he Proceeded to draw The ale but What was his Astonishment to find That although the Ale flowed Freely enough from the barrel The Little can which Could not Have held More Than a quarter Of a gallon Remained Always just Half full the ale Poured Into it in A clear Amber stream until The big cask Was quite empty And still the Quantity that was in The little can Did Not seem to increase The butler could Not understand it He looked at the Cask and then he Looked at the can Then he looked down at the Floor at his Feet to see if he had not Spilt Any no the ale had not Disappeared in that Way for the seller floor was as White and dry and clean as possible Plague On the can it Must be Bewitched Thought the old man And his short Stubby hair stood up Like porcupine quills Round his bald Head for if there was Anything on Earth of which he had a mortal Dread it was warlocks and witches and such like bogles i'm not going to broach another Barrel he said gruffly handing back the half Filled can to the little lad so ye may just Go home with what Is there the lairds ale is too good to waste on a smatchit like thee But the boy stoutly held his ground.

A promise was a promise, and the laird had both promised and sent orders to the butler that the can was to be filled, and he would not go home till it was filled.

They had all my literary earnings until I retired.

He grumbles about a concession that he's sure the politicians will revoke, and then delivers the line that we actually talked about on Word Nerd Wednesday a couple of weeks back, that he is being mulcted, M-U-L-C-T-E-D, mulcted next January of a sum that will cripple his intention to hand out real largesse to his children.

And then we get the last line of the letter, which is his career in 14 words.

A pity I did not make good and strike my ore-bearing vein before 39, but better late than never.

Better let me do it.

Not on your life, said Mark It's my discovery, and I'm paying you for the work you do just as the New York World and the Sun do When you come down to hard tacks you will find that there are no questionable proceedings whatever just an exchange of babies as in the old-time operas Troubadour and the rest The editor will have no kick coming The editor, of course, was Mrs. Clemens, who as a rule censored Mark's manuscript tooth-combed it as he called it cutting out such gems as the affairs of the cat who had a family in every port Mark told me that when he got through with Joan of Arc he would tackle this here Elizabeth proposition a person full of placid egotism and obsessed with self-importance he called her If I do Elizabeth half as well as I intend to do Joan and did the Prince and Pauper I will have three serious books to my credit and after that I will be damned thrice damned Elizabeth would have said if I allow anybody to take me for a mere fun-maker He gave me some more instructions talking at random mostly and paid me in advance for the work I was to do Twenty-four hours later I landed at Victoria Station, London for having business in Antwerp I had traveled via Holland A foreign correspondent that was my trade then is shifted merrily from one place to another So it happened that I went back to France after a fortnight in England or even sooner The Clemenses were packing and I had Mark all to myself for an hour or so What made you first doubt the Virgin Queen's sex? I asked Never mind Her gorgeous swearing maybe What did you find out in Surrey? I duly reported that I had gone to Overcourt with a friend had explored the Queen Elizabeth's chambers the woods and countryside and had interviewed a lot of old and some young gossips with this result Elizabeth, I was told, came to Overcourt when a child of four or five as a young person supposed to be Elizabeth that is, the daughter of Anne Boleyn and Henry VIII left there some ten years later when the princess was seven or eight King Henry, who was attending Parliament had promised to come and see his little girl two weeks hence Overcourt is within easy riding distance of London but even as they were preparing to give Hal ought to be hell, interpolated Mark a rousing reception to feed the brute in particular Elizabeth was suddenly attacked by malignant fever and died There was only one in the know her grace's governess I gave her name to Mark but have quite forgotten it I remember, though, that she remained in the royal service for some forty years afterwards in fact, that she and Elizabeth never separated while both lived I can imagine how that poor woman felt, commented Mark went through all the horrors of having her hair bobbed behind and her neck shaved What else was there in store for her but a beheading party if Hal found his daughter dead? And when, in your mind's eye you see the executioner try the edge of his axe on his thumbnail life's delicatessen considerations for truth politics, and common everyday decency lose their appeal The axe man was coming and that governess didn't want to be the chicken That's what the gossips told me and they had it from their great-great-great-grandmothers a blessed heritage Go on, said Mark Well, that governess knew that her life depended upon finding a substitute for Elizabeth and the substitute couldn't materialize quickly enough Briefly, it did materialize in the person of the late princess's boy playmate Here are his name and affiliations as Overcourt neighborhood has it Fine, said Mark The rest I know or can imagine She dressed up that kid in Elizabeth's petticoats and togs and frightened the life out of him not to betray her or himself with the king or anyone else Quite right, mused Mark for the eighth Henry was an ogre The very unborn children of England knew it Besides, reading up the official history of Elizabeth I find that Hal hadn't seen his daughter for three or four years previous to his visit in Overcourt The deception, then worked easily enough I could have done it at a pinch Mark next went into the life history of the great queen or supposed queen She was a male character all over A thousand acts of hers prove it he insisted Now tell me what were the conspicuous Tudor traits? But you said she wasn't a Tudor I interrupted Precisely But she had to copy the Tudors as our stage impersonators imitate Bernhard and Henry Dixie "Now, what were those Tudor traits? Remorselessness? Cunning? Lying till the cows come home? Murder? Robbery? Despoliation? Oh, all of them Elizabeth, or the man who impersonated the queen, practiced to the dotlet on the eye.

Think of the letters she wrote to Francis Drake, the inventor of fried potatoes, and to the second Philip of Spain.

Wasn't that a man's game? Could woman ever get up anything so misleading and contraband? And the way she fooled her English, Spanish, Austrian, German, and French admirers, setting each against the other, never neglecting to threaten Spain's flank, and at the last throwing them the head of Mary of Scots as a gauge of battle.

In a little while he will either be dead or that great intellect of his will begin to deteriorate, and what a pity that would be.

There was Emerson who valued impressions and ideas above everything in his way as great a man as Virchow and certainly a great benefactor of his countrymen but Holmes told me that in the late seventies of his long life facts counted no longer with Emerson for his memory was gone at Longfellow's funeral which preceded his own by a few months only Emerson walked up to the coffin twice probably forgetting the second time that he had already gazed upon his late friend's face when he had taken this last farewell he came back to his seat and said to the person nearest to him that dead man was a sweet and beautiful soul but I have completely forgotten his name for myself concluded Twain I have forgotten many a thing but I never will forget that little speech of poor old Emerson sic transit gloria mundi such is the way of the world a free translation I know but highly applicable end of the tragedy of genius section thirty-five of abroad with Mark Twain and Eugene Field by H. W. Fisher this LibriVox recording is in the public domain Kiltys and the Lassie I heard a good one on a young Scotchman a fellow who was always trying to show off in Kiltys by the way Andy Carnegie told me about him this young Scot with some other chaps went on a tramp of the lakes of Scotland and young Douglas had a good time showing off his fine calves talked about them and made comparisons with other well-known legs of actresses bishops dancers etc in England all bishops wear knickers you know at night the boys put up at a rather dilapidated inn neither clean nor promising other creature comforts but the girl who waited on them maid or scullion was a dandy blonde and blue-eyed rosy-cheeked and sturdy of arm and leg as she flitted in and out of the room bringing whiskey and water cheese bread and dried fish that was all the bill of fare afforded the travelers' eyes followed her and when she left the room there was many a knowing wink Douglas got jealous of the attention bestowed on Miriam what is there to go daft over he demanded peevishly well said they in chorus for one thing she has better legs than you Douglas Douglas hotly denied the imputation there was an argument and it was finally agreed that the two be measured if Douglas lost he must pay for the night's reckoning accordingly Douglas was put to the tape and the girl also Miriam had a few more inches of calf but the Scotchman was undaunted have you ever seen finer thighs than mine he boasted the lad who had been doing the measuring got flustered but the girl laughed don't be afraid laddie the higher you go the bigger they grow I'll be the winner and she was said Mark with a chuckle of evident approval end of Kiltys and the Lassie section thirty-six of abroad with Mark Twain and Eugene Field by H. W. Fisher this LibriVox recording is in the public domain A Wise Provision of Providence From a window at the Hotel de Rome, Mark and his friends were reviewing the ceremonial entry of the King of Italy in Berlin.

Fine horse flesh, Mark kept saying, and the Gigi's look better fed and happier than all that bedizened and beroamed royalty.

What's that string of riders following the four-poster, Mark's description of a stagecoach, tied to the twelve horses? They seem to sport every conceivable uniform, horse, foot, and artillery.