Ethan Cross

And there's research behind this too.

Psychologist Ethan Cross and his colleagues found that when people talk to themselves using their own name or you instead of I, they tend to handle stressful moments with less distress and more clarity.

They call it self-distancing.

So instead of, I can't believe they did this to me again, it sounds like, okay, Christiane's feelings dismissed.

Can you describe that for us?

Well, you know, this work comes out of the lab of Ethan Cross, who's a neuroscientist who actually studies studies or thought patterns.

And he found that when we talk to ourselves again, it sounds so silly.

Sometimes the brain really just wants us to use simple things to to to help ourselves.

And that his work and other people's work actually has shown that self-referential talk and on social media, some researchers have found that the more we use I and me on social media, the higher the likelihood of developing depression.

So this kind of self-referential thinking can tune us in a negative way toward negative storytelling toward ourselves and about ourselves, right? There's always this negative inner voice that we're trying to work with.

And Ethan Cross found in his work that when we talk back to ourselves with our own inner voice in the third person or using our name, hey, Donna, you know, that's okay.

Yeah, you tripped on stage, what of it? It's okay.

And that actually reminds me of a story.

There's a psychologist named Ethan Cross once asked a room full of people what they call someone who jumps right into advice before they've listened.

Most of the people in the room said jerks, and one person in the back yelled husband.

And as a husband, I'm not going to argue with that one.

There's some data to show that one way to regulate emotions.

And Ethan Cross has, uh, the scientist from university of Michigan has, uh, talked about this on the show.

One great way to regulate your emotion is through music.

I my primary use case for music is when I'm working out.

And

Ethan Cross has said that about emotional regulation, too.

He sort of set it aside when I was talking to him once, and I went...

Excuse me, that aside, could you just say that louder?

And sometimes we can give ourselves that same distance from our own thoughts.

Psychologist Ethan Cross and his colleagues have studied how speaking to ourselves and using our own name or the word you instead of I can help us gain perspective and manage stressful feelings.

When we're caught in a hard moment, the story in our head can fill the whole picture.

And this exercise invites us to change the camera angle.

longevity.

I'm yet to read the book in detail, but I've talked to a guy named Ethan Cross.

He wrote a book called

Chatter.