How does it start to manifest into your teenage years?

I think basically it was like a feeling, and this is in the book, when she has her first beer, when the book opens, it's this feeling of relief, you know, of being kind of transported away from, you know, the mindset of just my mindset.

So, and then it kind of progressed really quickly.

I mean, I was drinking a lot.

And then I was smoking pot as a way to not drink, you know, because I knew every time I had booze stuff would happen.

That was crazy.

What do you mean? What are some examples of that? Just like.

And then around 42 years old, you relapsed.

I think that's what complicates addiction.

Yes.

Absolutely, I agree.

I think that trajectory of a story of, you know, everything, you know, you sort of go way down, and then you go way up, and I think for a lot of addicts, that doesn't, you know, truck with our experience.

It's, um, there's tons of gray area.

There's tons of contradictions, um, which makes it human, which makes it difficult and messy.

Um, I suppose if it was this clean, you know, line, it would be easier in a way, but it's just not.

What did that relapse teach you about addiction that your first period of sobriety didn't?

Should teachers be engaged with students like Mr. Ririe engaged with Jessica?

I think it depends.

I think it can be a little tricky as a teacher because you are, you're dealing with administrators and you're dealing with parents.

So you're dealing with [laughs] adults, and adults tend to be pretty unpredictable, whereas kids are fairly predictable in my mind, in a good way.

So it, it's, I always found it important to relay to kids that they were seen, that they were seen and that they, they could come talk to me and if, if ...

And I would be open and judgment-free as much as I could be.

I mean, I'm not, you know, 100% judgment-free obviously.

... my political [laughs] question to you is, what would you like to see public policy-wise to address youth drug addiction?

When did the idea start?

Hello.

It's good to be here.

The idea, well, it had been brewing for a long time, the story.

Not so much the character.

Originally, it was a male protagonist.

And I started that to sort of, I guess, distance myself a little bit from the character and avoid autobiography.

Could you have set this book in another decade?