Eric Berne

See, I see this really interesting, Steph, because the way you talked about a symbiosis as an early developmental process, which is the way I think as well.

But if you go back to Eric Berne, who was the originator of transaction analysis, and he was here in the room, of course he's not because he died in 1970 of a double heart attack, and he was only 16. and you asked him well what do you see as the effective cure if you like in transaction analysis terms and he'd say that the person was coming from an adult place and they had self-agency to be able to have a robust adult and he would see that maybe as cure.

Now if you think of in symbiotic terms yeah, the way we're looking at things here now, and we were talking to Eric Byrne, he'd probably say something like, well, what I'm interested in is helping people come from an adult place so that the two people, or yourselves, can have an adult-to-adult relationship.

He wouldn't go into the child ego state.

Exactly.

And he builds it all on Eric Berne's work, but he makes it so accessible.

The core idea is that we each have three ego states, and they're not masks we put on.

They're genuine states of being that come from different periods of our development.

And the biggest thing is we need to walk away before they do that to themselves.

And as parents, that is, uh, if you study any transactional analysis, which Eric Berne's book, and if you've never read Games People Play, that is a way to bait somebody into a manipulation game.

Like, "I'm a little insecure, so I'm gonna bait you into this game with me.

I'm gonna make you listen to me, so I'm gonna get to be the victim, and then you're gonna be the, the he- you're gonna be the victimizer because you just hurt me by what you just said, but then I'm gonna get you to save me.

If you're interested, whoever's listening, OK Corral by Frank Ernst, that's the one to look for.

Um, Eric Berne was the guy who developed transactional analysis, but Frank Ernst was one of his, um, early students.

So the OK Corral is amazing because it means, so for example, in that case, client says, "I'm not okay.

I want it deeper." Um, therapist says, "Well, I can't go deeper.

And they are always adults.

And here comes Eric Berne.

A child is a neural network.

And we also, because childish behavior is also a neural network.

great um like i said we will return and then finally we are at the top of the tree and i think craig is going to do our final one which is

yeah um i think yeah intimacy is incredible it's it's one of the main goals within within therapy and Eric Berne mentioned when he talked about autonomy, he described it as awareness, spontaneity and intimacy.

And I think even when you get into it, you realise that

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