No good or bad thing.

Yeah, it's very triggering.

You know, I get it.

I understand.

Totally.

It's very it's a very triggering thing to say.

But honestly, it's really my belief system.

You've been serious?

Now, because your experience with brain health and things going on, can you tell listeners what happens to the brain during addiction or emotional chaos or even self-sabotage? What's happening internally in there for them?

Yes.

So, you know what? I've done a lot of research on Dr.

Gabor Mate.

And I know you've heard of him.

You're probably even have you talked to him before? Because, well, like his mind.

But his work, I respect it so much because what he he's talks about basically when it comes to addiction.

So tell us, as you work toward this next phase of your life, working with people, doing things, what is your legacy? What do you hope to leave behind?

No, it's fine.

But I had my period and I.

My pants.

And I asked the CEO, can I have a new pair of pants, please? And she ignored me.

So I literally was so embarrassed and humiliated that I just stayed on my bed for three days until somebody, a new CEO, tell her shift was off and someone out me a new pair of pants.

Like three days, three days, three days.

They treat you like you're a dog, like worse than a dog, like the bottom of the shit of the pond.

Tell us all the things.

What did you do to interrupt that pattern and then Was it, immediately describe how painful it got and then what was it worth it?

So I'll go to a point in my life where I was completely broken because so many people get to these points.

I call it the no hope place where you literally feel like there's nothing else.

You know, when you're in those places, you just have to remind yourself that Everything is ebb and flow.

So it's not – you're not going to be there forever, right? It's like it's just this too shall pass.

When I was going through my very rough year last year through the divorce, it was like I kept mantras in my head.

So anytime I would get a hit of fear, I would say fear to faith.

The one thing that really is really deep.