Edward Cullen

So, um, if you've got like a full, like let's say five Investure and above, you're pretty visible at that point, like you're glowing like, like Mark-

Like Edward Cullen in the sunlight sort of thing, sparkling.

Why did you have to use that as the example?

Good reference.

Yes and I knew the word.

Good one.

I need to know if I'm Edward Cullen.

These are the oaths of a killer, Bella.

Day three.

Day three is when Naminé goes all Edward Cullen on Roxas and is just watching him in his bedroom.

Yo, that is

hilarious.

We don't need to go over your recap and your summary on it

... of other vampires that have been around for a long time named the Cullens, and she has a thing for him, and that goes back and forth.

You shoulda just went outside and breathed in all that smoke, man.

And then the second movie happens.

Right.

Do you remember exactly where you were when a very specific brand of vampire romance suddenly and seemingly out of nowhere just became the absolute center of the cultural universe?

It was inescapable.

I mean, you literally couldn't walk through a mall or, you know, open a magazine without colliding with it.

Because this isn't just a casual re-release.

No, we really need to look at this holistically.

This isn't just a conversation about cinematic vampires or teenage angst, you know.

What we have here in our source material is a massive, fascinating case study in Hollywood economics.

What say you?

The werewolf fighter, Edward Cullen.

Uh, no. It's none other than Arian Foster, the Houston Texans back in the day.

[upbeat music] Arian Foster.