Um, but I think just generally, your takeaway from earnings we've gotten so far, especially when you look at the distinction between some of these names within very specific categories, like for example, McDonald's vers- versus Burger King.

Yeah, I mean, I...

The, the restaurant industry is always, um, in- interestingly, it's a market share fight, and so there are winners and losers.

But it has felt particularly pronounced this earnings season just, just how much, um, disparity there has been between the winners and the losers.

I, I think to your point, McDonald's and Burger King is a great example of that.

You have Burger King, who in the first quarter put up a 6% same for sales, in the second quarter put up 9.

Um, they are clearly, clearly doing well right now.

Um, on the other hand, you've also seen trade up or commentary about trade up at some of the sit down restaurants like Texas Roadhouse and Out- Outback.

Right.

Let's go to the stuff you know.

This is the part they're going to like, right? This is where, all right, first, let's get a relative measure here.

Are we talking about, you know, living in a two-bedroom in Brooklyn and dealing with the high cost of living and raising kids there? Or are we talking about, I don't know, Missouri in a five-bedroom house where cost of living is a lot cheaper, right?

Mm-hmm.

And start thinking about what are the big decisions, sacrifices, changes you're gonna be making in your lifestyle.

If you are adamant that they need to go to the good preschool around the corner Well, what are you gonna trade for that if you can't make the numbers work?

Where should you maybe pull this from?

Yeah.

So typically there's an order of operations depending on how much planning you've done.

This is why I'm such a big fan of the cash reserve, right? Is that you don't need to go into debt or sell assets that are earmarked for other purposes like your retirement or your kid's college just to handle an emergency or opportunity for that matter.

So if you have cash, clearly that's the first place to go.

If you have the opportunity or investments outside of retirement accounts, assets, yes, unfortunately you'll be selling them, but you'll want to do that in the most tax-advantaged way.

Be mindful of your gains and save those retirement accounts as kind of the option of last resort.

If

Why is that an empowering message to, for investors to internalize, that there is no normal?

Yeah, because if there, if there was a normal, everybody would be doing the same thing, right? Like, there wouldn't be marketplace...

If we think about investments, right? There wouldn't be marketplaces of ideas to shop around and test theories, make money, lose money, and all, and all of that stuff here.

But when it comes to, you know, individuals and couples, you know, look, it's, it's kind of the spice of life in the relationship.

But what you have to remember is, you know, this is two-part work every step of the way.

Um, Heather just talked about the self work that needs to be done to know what your own story is.

You need a partner that is able to listen to that.

Like, time is the greatest currency that we have, and I think a lot of people don't realize that until it's, unfortunately, something makes them realize it.

So what-- When you say that we are misaligned on values, uh, when it comes to money, w- what do you see in your world that has been the most disruptive for marriages as it relates to values?

You know, we, we start the whole first section of the book with the self-work that needs to be done.

The whole first section's about beginnings.

Think about how much life you've lived before you met your partner.

In those years, often decades, this is where you've shaped your beliefs and scripts around money.

It's what was said or unsaid at your, you know, dining room table as a kid.

It's what your culture and religion has put upon you in terms of how you think about things like jobs that are acceptable to have, what you can and can't say, how you can earn.

Yeah.