And

I would say I would need to do more research to feel really totally comfortable.

And I should have done that first.

I think narcissistic abuse is different and it feels so manipulative.

And a lot of times it's easier to think it's our fault when it's straight out abuse.

It's easy.

It's easier to kind of separate a lot of times and be like, okay, I know I didn't do something to cause that.

About the difference between healthy boundaries and like a self-protective wall that basically looks like a

fake.

And what I want to suggest is that that's not true because we need to learn to read our audience.

So at work, you don't talk like you would at home necessarily because you have a different audience.

So it's totally appropriate to change how we talk, the way we talk, if we cuss or not.

based off of who we're talking to.

And that's not fake, but adaptation just says, I start to adapt myself around what the other person wants, or they lose touch with their perspective and focus on the other person's perspectives.

Um, So that's adaptation.

So now the next question is, how can entrepreneurs and leaders improve their relationship at work by understanding their nervous system patterns?

So Diane, getting back to people pleasing, are there other elements to becoming a people pleaser? Because sometimes you're people pleasing other people and that also impacts your marriage.

So what I try to remind my clients a lot of times is there is nothing wrong with us that our brain wants to people please.

If you think about back in the day, we needed to be part of a community.

Literally, if we got exiled, we would die.

And so our brain just goes danger, danger if somebody doesn't like us.

And a lot of times people will be like, I know I shouldn't care what other people think or I know it shouldn't really bother me.

It does.

Is that emotionally intelligent?