Desire

And now she has written nonfiction.

A Bigger Life is subtitled A Memoir of Dating Desire and the Radical Act of Wanting More.

And I think that's a very astute description of it.

The book opens with Louise going through a breakup, which led to her really examining her life and her general well-being and going on an adventure and finding a new way to live.

And you've definitely been generous with this.

So thank you so much.

Louise O'Neill, A Bigger Life, A Memoir of Dating Desire and the Radical Act of Wanting More is out now.

Honestly, if you're not a big reader, the audiobook is amazing.

This is not code for blame or pressure or manipulation or begging.

You just want to be able to know what the truth is about the level of each of your desires so that you can work with it collaboratively.

It's not, the low desire partner's responsibility to satisfy the high desire partner, nor is it the high desire's responsibility to suffer in order to accommodate the low desire partner.

This definitely is a collaborative dance.

Yeah, and I think that's also just been like tapping into fantasies, which we did, I believe we dedicated an episode of fantasies maybe three or four episodes ago, maybe five.

And that's kind of closely integrated with Desires.

It's kind of like a cousin of it a little bit.

And I think that's also contributed to our fast forwarding.

And from a practical standpoint, if you think about feeling, right, that word, that's the word right there.

Desire, the pull that you feel towards your partner, is the same desire, the pull you feel towards anything in life.

What else in life lights you up? What else do you feel like you just...

you're drawn towards it.

I would love to do both.

I was going to suggest Desire, which I think was maybe the one that I really fell in love with.

What page? Out of the many.

That's on page 50.

But then I would love

to do At Mercy Hospital after that.

Well, this Desire one is about a lot of the things that

we've just talked about.

Don't you know now is the perfect time? We can make it right near the city lights.

Winter night is the love Desire to be with you Gotta get plenty baby Won't you come as emergency Cool the fire, yearning honey Come set me free Don't you know now Is the perfect time We can dim the lights Just to make it right In the night Hit another spot I'll give you all Yeah.

You say that working is what a man's supposed to do.

Soon enough darling, this love will be reality How can you live girl, cause love for us was meant to be Well, then you must be seeing, some other guy instead of me Woo!

Com as flores no campo, o sol volta a brilhar.

O desejo desperta, é hora de pensar.

Talvez a explicação ninguém possa merecer.

Por que o ser humano decidiu desenvolver? Desafiar a natureza alterando a estrutura, desbravando como se fosse uma simples aventura.

[música eletrônica] Mostre-me agora qual será a solução.

Um novo dilúvio ou nova Constituição? Não vi que sua vida está em jogo.

O que ontem foi desejo, hoje te dá nojo.

Como as flores no campo, o futuro quero ver.

But I've spent so much time So I just think that we aren't given these tools.

I do think a book called Desire is really great for couples to read together.

I think listening to sex podcasts together, relationship podcasts together, sharing those things is helpful in the communication.

I think a lot of fantasy is I think people want to feel safe and sharing their fantasies of safety, attunement.

Brimelanotide and those kinds of compounds are acting more on the brain.

So think of it as more your interest Desire.

Desire, exactly, as opposed to the physical response.

So I do like to use sometimes men with erectile dysfunction as a good example, right? So Sedanafil for men, their desire, right? They have the appetite.

Their physiology just needs a little boost, right? It needs to have a help for them to have the physical response, right? Or if they weren't desirous, they might need help having appetite, having desire, and with the physical response.

That which includes, you know, Pakistan, Bangladesh, you know, even Afghanistan and so on, greater India.

And my first tantric experience Desire came from reading the story of Naropa and his relationship with Tilopa.

Now, the Pahs are Tibetan, but the Telo and the Naro are because they were in India.

The Pah is added to let us know that they're Tibetan male.