For a partner who's trying to make sense of the overwhelming grief that they're feeling and betrayal trauma, how do you help them understand what's actually happening, what they're actually mourning?

Wow, that's a really good question.

When they're grieving, they're usually grieving the loss of the marriage they thought they had.

Dr. Pauline Boss coined the term grief.

ambiguous loss.

It describes grief that doesn't have clear edges.

And I can totally relate to that in my experience.

Do you recall what some of that looked like early on?

So do you want to speak to that a little bit about having people have different phases and how that impacts a group? I guess

there's different schools of thought on that, like you said.

Sometimes if somebody's further along, they can help the person that may be the member in the group that may not be as far along and inspire them and give them hope and also demonstrate or model for them that things will get better and give them ideas on how to get there if they want them.

I don't really know.

If post-traumatic growth would fit well with early trauma, and maybe it would, maybe it wouldn't.

The group that I'm familiar with, with Amy, the Sunlit group, is more oriented towards early trauma.

But I do know that there are some groups like would be better for post-traumatic growth.

What do you think it is that helps create that safe environment for a woman when they're coming in? What kind of things would you say are important for that aspect?