Well, please, I'll let you, I'll let you drive.

Sure.

So I think that the, I've always, I've always been a big feeler.

I've always been someone who is interested about people and the world and the whys and the obsessiveness of humanity and why people do the things that they do and i think the last year really really heightened that for me and i'm also not i'm not a stranger to big or negative i don't want to say negative i just want to say big feelings they don't think that feelings are bad but I have never really experienced like true grief until the past year has been one of the most grieving years of my entire life.

And I think I had, I had to think about the world differently and had to think about creatively differently.

And it just for context without going into the whole, you know, Backstory, police report, court date, all of that.

I was in a shooting.

Courtney, how are you, how are you processing living in a culture where this just keeps fucking happening?