Back then, did you feel comfortable talking about the fact that you were the only woman in many rooms? You know

what? No.

I talked about it behind the back of my colleagues with the few other women.

And now I wish I could go back and be that 20-year-old woman who would say, you know, it's unacceptable that we go somewhere and there's only a men's bathroom.

What is that? But, you know, with time and age, I've gotten more comfortable.

And so as I am older, I hope I can pull other people up to talk about these things.

I recently spoke at a women's event and I went into the bathroom and there was a woman breastfeeding, pumping in the bathroom because there was nowhere to do it.

If you are someone who wants to raise one of these issues, elder care, fertility, a mental health struggle with yourself or a family member, what recommendations do you have for how to do that with your boss and your colleagues?

We're all equally guilty of being addicted to these things.

You know what's so interesting, Kim? I started teaching at HBS 12 years ago.

And since I had a phone, I don't think I had ever gone 80 minutes without looking at it.

And that's the length of my class.

So I can't look at my phone.

Everywhere else, like board meetings, whatever, I'd always glance.

And what happened is my mother wrote me, like, three months into my first semester, did I do something to offend you? And that's because I wasn't getting back to her within minutes of her texting me.

When

Why is this still so uncomfortable for us to talk about?

It's terrible.

It's mainly because there's been a stigma for so long that women present as needy.

And many times women are not presenting to another woman that they want more.

Women are presenting to another man.

But no matter what, women make one big mistake.

They don't present it at the right time.

Anyway,

How does he have that conversation with his daughter to figure out whether she's gonna step up or whether he actually ought to sell this company to Brooke and not to his daughter?

Well, I, I think if, if his goal is, number one goal is to have a relationship with his daughter over any business outcome, if that's the next conversation, then he's gonna lose both.

He's gonna lose his company and he's gonna lose his daughter.

Um, I believe that showing her a path where she gets to decide the outcome or have a hand in it is a better way to go.

And so I would be really upset if I were your daughter and, and found out you were having all these conversations with Brooke about possibly selling the company and about me and where's my role.

And so if you could sit down with her and say, "I know this is gonna be hostile.

I, I hate that I feel that way, but I'm 65.

No.

Yeah.

And it is causing us great harm as Christians.

a globe.

We don't talk about things and we don't listen.

And so it's not just that I want people to read my book and start talking about difficult things.

I want them to start listening and being curious and understanding why certain things happen and realizing that as individuals, we have common goals.

But if we kind of make decisions without addressing the elephant, that no decision, that no topic becomes part of the solution.

I mean, being a professor, writing a book, and a founder of Wingspan Legacy Partners, what does a typical day look like for you? Tell me about what Wingspan does and how you spend your time there as well.

businesses changing in the United States?

In years past, it was left to the children and the children wanted to run it.

Now the rising gen would rather the family business owners sell their business and they'd rather inherit the cash.

And that's going to cause a real issue in the economy because it's going to lead to jobs going away and it's going to lead to people in communities owning the business that aren't part of the community.

If I am an owner of a small business, and I'm getting on in years, and I want to figure out a way out, where do I turn? Who do I ask for

advice? There are advisors, unfortunately, who most owners of a small business ask.

They ask a friend, and most friend has done it poorly.

We have this problem everywhere in the world where succession and age get mingled.

Why do you think that is?

They haven't because they don't value the family office the way they should yet.

I mean, many people that create a family office don't really even understand the fees that they used to be paying at banks and other places.

Um, so number one, it's that.

The second reason is, they're starting a business that they might not participate in that actively, and so they don't think of it as a for-profit.

They think of it as a cost center that takes care of a- a variety of different things.

And so, you know, some family office heads might not even have any idea of the rigor that goes into making investments, but they remember that you forgot to change the travel for their daughter or the tuition was late, and so they're- they're pissed.

Talk to me about the psychological aspects between Gen One and Gen Two or maybe Gen Two and Gen Three families and how do those play into the dynamics of the family office?