Chatter: The Voice in Our Head

Um, but it doesn't always help you solve your problem.

And so what they've also shown is that co-rumination can actually make the problem feel bigger, and you're like, "Oh my gosh, that does f- really feel like a problem now." And so what the research on this, and there's, there's a researcher, Ethan Kross, who wrote the book Chatter.

Uh, he talks about this idea of having, you know, a network of people that you share these things with and workshop these problems that you have, you know, in relationships and other things.

So for your friends, you go for that kind of validation, and they kinda zoom in on all the ways in which you're, you're totally right and we're on your side.

be.I like that a lot.

And when you give yourself these cookies, are there any best practices? I'm thinking about, uh, Ethan Kross, who wrote the book Chatter, who was a guest on the show, mentioned that using your name in the third person can have some distancing effects, providing a different perspective, and can reduce rumination.

And he's exampleing, "Le- LeBron James has gotta do what's best for LeBron James" is, is the example he, he used.

And so in this instance, it's almost like I'm guessing we might wanna do the opposite in terms of, like, you're front and center.

Nothing came of that threat, and Ethan stopped guarding the house at all hours of the night.

But he drew on that experience for his new book, Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It, which is exactly what Emilia is struggling with.

It's everything.

It's like little memories that just come up.

Like, you're telling me that it's just, it's normal, you know? [gentle music]

Thank you to Amelia for sharing her story with us, and thanks to Ethan Kross for all his great advice.

Be sure to look for his book Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It.

[gentle music] And if you like what you heard today, please give us some love wherever you listen by leaving a rating and a review.

And I started it, in case you didn't listen to the last episode, I started it because I was having really interesting conversations with researchers.

I had just read Ethan Kross's book Chatter, and I was just becoming a lot f- more familiar with content that I feel like would be so transformational for fundraisers if they could just focus on it or get their hands on it or hear about it.

That actually it was the content in those resources that I thought would really change fundraising, not another fundraising conversation, that it was about what's happening inside the brain and body.

When do we experience that looping self-doubt in our brain? What can we do about it? Et cetera.