Okay.

That our why began with work.

And in fact, my publisher noted, because I included love letters between us.

Yes.

Back in the day when you wrote letters.

Yeah.

He and I had had a meet-cute in Iowa during the presidential campaign.

room, you have assumed privilege.

It's an incredible read, even if you don't have to take it at a snail's pace like me, because I was like, that's triggering.

You know, I think the feedback from readers and reviews from strangers is that they see themselves in the pages.

And I get messages, I get direct messages or emails from former colleagues or total strangers, and they will pick a specific part of the memoir and say, that was my marriage or that was my journey into motherhood or that was my career or I'm at an inflection point in my life now where I look back and I ask myself, why did I make those choices? Were they the right choices? And how do I look at the rest of my incredible life? How do I want to live this next road? And for a humble story like mine, which I have described as this complicated love story with an older newsman and a career set against this journalism backdrop.

I'm so grateful for that because that's what the shared human experience is meant to be.

And if my story can have value to someone else, I love it.

But I wrote this for my daughter.

I wanted her to know the whole story because she's up against this, you know, she's in her early 20s and she's making the decisions that I was making at that time in my life.

Prove your worth.

What else do you remember from that day, Carol?

I remember those first responders.

You talk about that.

And I...

I remember hearing the recordings of their voices, the radio traffic that are now available to us in the 9-11 museum in New York city and the resolute calm, the absolute determination that they were going to go into that building and they were going to save lives and the lack of hesitation, just the calm and the heroism that that takes.

And I often in every year think, Think about this on the anniversary of the kind of courage that takes.

And yes, you ask any one of those individuals who survived, they say it's the training.

physical impacts of 9-11? Even if you weren't down at ground zero, just covering that story was very

Yeah.

She's not...

She's not in the baby Bjorn when I'm crossing into the West Bank.

She'll be home.

It'll be safe.

Anyway, that's how worker bee brain, lizard brain, right? And it's not to say that there are female journalists out there raising children, going to war, coming home and making dinner and getting it done.

What I'm saying is that we're so unique in how we're socialized in our childhood and The expectations that we build for ourselves and that how we build our own facade, how we become our own human shield.

there things that gave you comfort that helped you to kind of move into peace with your widowhood?

Talk to me about 9-11 at CNN4U.

It wasn't until my two-hour morning show was almost over that an executive ran behind me during a commercial break.

I was about to interview Amy Tan.

And all of a sudden it was, what's going on? Because nobody runs in the CNN newsroom.

That place is wired.

Its DNA is breaking news.

And she said, reports of a plane into the World Trade Center.

Okay.

And he ended up doing very well.

well.So for me, I was always, "Oh, this is Betsy Ronnell.

She's Daniel Ronnell's wife." And I didn't mind- Really? ...

'cause I was very proud of that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And- That's something to be proud of.

Yeah