Caffè Nero

Because you are really rich.

Listen, I love London too, but the last time I had some time to kill and I went to try and get a double espresso in a Cafe Nero, I realized I can't afford London anymore, but Beyonce can.

So if you want to enjoy London, try and be an internationally famous millionaire who, just in case you still run out of money in London, is married to an international millionaire.

Between the two of you, that means you could have a great day out, maybe two days out.

Now, if

you go into a coffee shop now, I'm thinking Cafe Nero in Brighton or something, it's dark greens and it's brown and sofas.

And the idea is you just sit and hang out, have a coffee, read a paper, do some emails, whatever.

They're not trying to get you out of there.

And I was like, Okay, I'm going to go to Nero.

I'm going to go to bloody Cafe Nero in the Shires.

And I cannot tell you, right, the freedom I felt driving to Cafe Nero, getting a large black Americano and sitting in Cafe Nero quarter to 11 on a Tuesday morning.

The sun was shining and I was looking around at all these people just thinking, you have freedom.

And I said to myself, what I would do to be able to just be on the motorway at like 10, 11 in the morning, just to know like around people that aren't in schools, you know, around adults that aren't teachers and in education, like what I would do for that.

know so it's like dark energy in that sense versus jones is like a very like popular boy like

quarterback or whatever like all-american last name and i think okay like this could work but then it even has another level and obviously like you may have seen here in the uk there's like a big coffee chain called cafe nero yeah yeah and so like automatically when you say Nero, like most British people are like,

what, like Cafe Nero?

Okay.

All right.

Hey, chat GPT, write me a speech proposing the motion, this house would rather a world without generative AI.

Make sure to absolutely cook the proposition and make sure to slander the library doors and Cafe Nero as well.

I want everyone to imagine for a moment that they are in ancient Greece.

They see Theseus building ships.

go big or go home

whenever when I met you first I just wanted to go Terry you know the way she calls you but I was like don't go into Cafe Nero doing it to the man I was like there was only

six people in that

don't do it Brenda don't do it but I've done it there now because that was the way I was like don't do it because he'll think you're an absolute lunatic

there you

know in those few days but anyway so I was up there for like eight to get the tires and I was over there in Crescent Link and I popped into Cafe Nero.

I think it was at 10am.

I mean, there wasn't a fucking seat in that place.

On a Monday morning at 10am, there wasn't a seat.

And then I also, when I was over there, before I went into Cafe Nero, I went into Halfords because they had new wipers as well.

Tell me why I had a queue at half nine on a Monday morning to get my wipers flooded at Halfords.

Like, why the fuck was everybody at Halfords getting stuff done? Why weren't they at work? At half nine on a Monday morning? At half nine on a Monday morning, I was sitting on a wee chair queuing to get my wipers flooded at Halfords because they were fucking flat out.

Do you know what? When it dropped, the original rankings, and I was sitting on a plane landing from Petit Le Mans.

There's nothing I wanted to do more while waiting in the line at Cafe Nero for coffee than go through all the drivers that have changed ranking.

It is one of those tasks, isn't it, every year, and your heart sinks, absolutely sinks.

It always takes you