Bullseye

So this is what I did, because I take my research really seriously.

I decided to look at the official gov.uk website for a selection of recent press releases under Burnham's watch now I'm not going to list them all there's too many but I've picked a few highlights and rather than read them out parrot fashion I am going to summon up my inner Tony Green from the dark show Bullseye we're going real retro today Frank and if you've not ever watched Bullseye with Jim Bowen and Tony Green you must watch it always made me laugh when he used to pull out a watch of notes and say you've got 40 quid in Do you want to go with that 40 quid? Or do you want to gamble behind the mystery board? Anyway, and I'm going to read out the numbers.

So, Frank, what I want you to do is I want you to read out the headlines, see if you've got a job as a headline reader, and I'm going to do my Tony Green impression.

So we've got 12 headlines.

MUSIC And it goes...

Everybody, welcome to Bullseye with your host, Jim Bowman! And a balding man in, like, a red tabard with, like, a bow and a quiver comes on.

He's got these really thick-rimmed glasses.

He goes...

All right, everyone, welcome to Bullseye.

Oh, is that our contestants for this week? Bully-ay! Bully, come out here and see our contestants.

And there's all this roaring.

that gnome.

Maybe it'll be the greatest show ever seen.

Well, it won't, 'cause it won't, it won't repeat Bullseye.

Uh, nothing's ever gonna repeat Jim Bowen and Bullseye.

Um-

It'd be a good watch.

And man, you know, there is, this, this is like a staple of British television in the, in the '80s, right?

Bullseye, baby.

There was a-

Bullseye.

You know Bullseye? Yes.

Fuck yeah I do.

Yes.

And it's j- it's old game shows.