Why is there so much shame and guilt as it relates to our bodies and exploring our bodies and sex and sensuality?

I believe that, and I've learned just over the years that, and I talk with my hands, so...

OK, so, no, I've learned that over the years, a lot of the shame and guilt and disconnection that we have when it comes to sexuality and sensuality is our belief system.

It's what we've been taught.

It's the script.

And I call it your sexual script.

Right.

just counted sex as a task sex as a duty i'm thinking about even like when my ex-husband and i were in the early stages of our marriage and we had kids right away i'm a medical student and then i'm a resident and i'm an attending i'm a physician i'm rising up the corporate ladder so to speak and just feeling busy and tired and not sexy and there's just so many things but In terms of this disembodiment, is there a connection that you have seen maybe with your clients or maybe in your studies between women who are highly accomplished, women who are high achievers, perfectionist, control freaks, all those things, and being disembodied? What is that connection?

You don't wanna create the same dynamic that you might have had in your marriage and, but maybe you don't know how to do it or how to have that conversation or how to ask for what you want.

Exactly.

And that's the thing, and I think the, the part is, again, that goes back to the shadows with the guilt and the shame and the script that you've taught yourself.

So now you may say, "Hey, I'm 50 years old now and I might wanna try something different" And you, and the space should be safe where you should have that conversation.

I know a lot of times with couples this is what'll happen.

The woman will say, "Hey, I was watching this show and I saw this guy do this to this girl, and I want my person to do that with me" And I'm like, "Okay." And so having the conversation with the sexologist kinda neutralize that ground.

And so it's, "Hey, I saw something on a show that I thought would be pleasurable and I ha- I feel this is a safe space with you, and I would like to implement that"

It's like, that's nonsense.