Borderlands

... was it?

Borderlands.

I saw that new Borderlands-

Oh, I thought you were gonna talk about Ice Cream Man that came out.

I heard that was atrocious

I

forgot, right before this movie, between Thanksgiving and this, was that Borderlands movie? Oh, you're right! So that kind of explains it.

He's kind of in director's jail, but also it is shockingly terribly made.

Everyone hated that Borderlands movie.

I did not see it.

And that was a huge budget, and it flopped.

I really enjoyed the end of Oak Street, and I think you should give that a chance.

And then there's Eli Roth's Ice Cream Man, after Eli Roth had an absolute disaster with the movie Borderlands, but Jamie Lee Curtis, the video game.

It was just cut beyond recognition and didn't turn out for anybody.

He gave up the studio system and went back to a self-financed, low-budget splatter movie.

But in recent years, I just think he's had such a, and we'll get into the film in a second, but his career trajectory has been so strange, made such a name for himself in those 2000s, kept on making horror movies, then had this strange pivot to sort of big budget, almost family-friendly blockbusters.

He did The House with the Clock at Its Walls, and then he did Borderlands.

Yeah.

which was a real bad film, by the way, a real, real bad film, but just a strange career trajectory overall.

In that movie.

Also, if you saw the Borderlands movie, if you were...

One of the dozen or so of us that saw the Borderlands movie, she played Tiny Tina in that movie.

But I don't think Jeff's

seen that movie.

Like the connections between her and Superman are so tenuous and artificial, it felt like AI.

Like he pop current sweat who I thought was dreadful as Superman pops up a couple of times to be all noble and talk to her on earth for a minute or two and that's the only real connection we ever get to this in notion of a Superman universe the rest of it really is something like Borderlands if you saw that a couple of years ago um like very very or if you saw Rebel Moon very very low rent sort of space western stuff of the kind that has been made so many times and that character dynamic of the younger person bonding with the hard drinking Wolverine-esque character like exactly like that it's got nothing to do with superheroes at all she dresses in that Superman suit for about five minutes in whole film the rest of the time she's just dressed up like she reminded me like this is people have commented on her looks personally I think that certain roles it's incumbent on the role to be very good looking Superman is one of them Superman is supposed to be the apex human being every Superman character has every actor that's played Superman has been very tall very good looking so in this case that's clearly not true um the original Supergirl movie the original terrible Supergirl movie was you know the Supergirl is supposed to be the archetypal all-american beauty pageant queen that's the character if you don't want that character don't make a Supergirl film make another film make a film where Millie Alcock is in a Guardians of the Galaxy knockoff don't include tenuous links to Supergirl now her look isn't doesn't fit the role at all she just doesn't fit the role every time you read a poorly reviewed film on in a blurb on Wikipedia it always tell you that the performance is good the film received negative reviews but the performance is appraised that's always nearly a lie the performance is a dreadful here including Millie Alcock she might have been great in another film that Guardians knockoff but that's not this film she seems to go backwards and forwards all the time in her mood and we've seen that post drunken Logan version of a hero that then bonds with a younger person all the way back to the first X-Men movie it's the most overdone trope and it doesn't bring anything to the table at all here I thought her look was really weird like I kept thinking of Will Porter and I kept thinking of that kid from Mad Max 2 it was very distracting she looked a bit better when she put the Supergirl outfit on but it felt really low rent and I didn't rate her performance it seemed she wasn't histronic all the way through like David Corenswet was but what the the the emotional bits I was actually putting my hands over my eyes because they were so cringe inducing I also thought that actually Matthias Schoenart's Schoenart's I've been a fan of for years everything the drop he's better than Tom Hardy in the drop he's he's really really good actor and I like seeing him but Eve Ridley I thought was dreadful as the kid I thought she was terrible and no one else is really in it apart from Jason Momoa who is just a perfunctory character a little bit more fun but I didn't think this film looked good I thought it looked cheap I thought that the acting was poor I thought the story was incredibly rote the one the only thing that stood out was Claudia Sain I don't know who that is but I actually thought that when the titles went up at the end and I was listening to the music I was thinking I feel so bad for her for her score is so good to be wasted on this absolute pile of crap film it's so unfair that that music should be in this film but you're not getting any marks for that because I didn't notice it much all the way through they keep they keep doing annoying things here Supergirl's powers change dependent on the scene some scenes she can only just about win a bar fight two two minutes later she's flying along at high speed shooting laser beams out of her eyes it's like they just amend her skills dependent and they'll usually throw a kryptonite dart at her if they need her skills to be slightly less for five minutes it's all garbage and we've seen these post-apocalyptic space films so many times it just doesn't have any connection with the Spider- Superman universe and I can't see a way back for the James Gunn Superman universe I don't I didn't want to watch the next Superman film it's going to have to be a multi-billion dollar success now for these films to even continue as Supergirl will probably be the biggest box office disaster of all time so it's it's difficult to see where to go because the choices he's made and he would have been a producer of this film but the choices he made in Superman turning that into a space fest with the multiverse from a cheap Marvel film was again completely unwanted um You know, everyone thought we were getting the Christopher Reeve Superman.

That's not what I saw.

I saw a histronic drama student that's very good looking but not very talented yelling a lot to try and replace emotion with yelling.

They still didn't make any money.

And this has just tanked.

But it really does feel like a film that was made on the cheap that just spent a week in the cinema and vanished, like the Borderlands film.

Even though they did spend a lot of money, it doesn't look like it.

A little AI.

Eli Roth Borderlands.

Yeah, it is.

I didn't see any of this.

[laughs]

I'm gonna get him.

That is one of the wor- dude, I fu- I, I, to be fair, I feel like he got fucked over on Borderlands when they deci- they were like, "Okay, Eli Roth, known for your extreme fucking violence and gore, now make a movie with no gore."

Make a movie where a child swears and gets pissed on.

Boo.

Steve, did you watch Borderlands, his movie? You and Eli-

I did.

Yeah, it was awful.

Yeah.

I, let's see.

Borderlands, oof.

Ice Cream, Ice Cream Man currently sitting at a 1.4 over-