Blue whale

But we saw some surprises and we'll be talking about them as we kind of address each of these games.

So the first matchup we had was the Super Bowl rematch, which is the Blue Whales soccer against the fake gay hammies because of AIDS.

Yes.

Nailed it.

Some of these guys won't even be in their lineups.

Let's look at the first matchup.

We'll start with Blue Whales Soccer against Diarrhea Lettuce.

Big matchup here.

And unfortunately, this whale calls at 52 hertz, which means it probably can't actually be heard by either of these species.

Because the blue whale and the fin whale call between 10 and 39 hertz.

The fin whale at 20, the blue between 10 and 39.

Which has earned this whale the title of loneliest whale in the world.

whales and fin whales will hybridize.

Yeah.

So that is one of the theories is that this is a hybrid between a blue whale and a fin whale.

It could also be that it has some sort of malformation of the vocalization anatomy and that that is causing this.

As a result, in the ages since the first complex life appeared on Earth, sea creatures have often had the edge over terrestrials in terms of the very largest, and the same is true today.

Currently, the planet's largest creature is the blue whale, a nearly 200-ton behemoth that can grow almost 30 meters.

But its lineage only goes back a mere two million years in Earth's fossil record, barely a fraction of the time in which giants have roamed the seas.

Shark fossils, on the other hand, go back significantly further, to more than 400 million years ago, when our planet and its oceans were wildly different.

So roughly the same range as the megalodon and modern-day whale shark.

And with its nightmarish appearance, omni-carnivorous diet, and arsenal of predatory adaptations, it is undoubtedly the Earth's ultimate prehistoric leviathan, from which its very name is derived.

But for all the massive, menacing species of raptorial whales we've covered so far, none of them came close to rivaling the enormity of our planet's present-day largest animal, the blue whale.

The blue whale is probably the largest creature of all time.

Then all the way back along past Corona, past Fullerton, up the five.

the Alameda Corridor, past the Cryptocurrency Staple Center, over to the Blue Whale, out to fucking Santa Monica, all the way up to Barbra Streisand's house in Malibu, banged the fucking right, up over the Santa Monica Mountains, and into Camarillo, man.

It was fucking fun.

It was really...

No, I am not going to the Open, 'cause based on the crowds I'm seeing for Fan Week, I'm okay with that.

It's basically the same as low T at the Blue Whale, and the drinks are the same price, but hey, at least I can be in a Speedo here with slightly fewer mean looks.

And today I'm doing the show in the buff, 'cause I'm at The Belvedere.

Tell me if you can hear a difference, folks.

Picture deep blue water all around you.

Way, way down in the blue lives a blue whale.

The blue

whale is the

Every single one of you did a wonderful, wonderful job.

Now, three quick facts that will make your brain go wow.

Fact one, a baby blue whale grows as long as a couch every single week.

Every week.