Beth Stelling
Comedian and writer
15
APPEARANCES
14
PODCASTS
Aug 31, 2026
speaker_3ADVERTISER
Booster.
Beth StellingGUEST
Yes, I guess I was sort of thinking maybe I'd try to date and they were terrible because it was just sort of going on a walk or talking to someone.
Beth StellingGUEST
But when it came to dating, And somebody like something that lasted a little longer.
Beth StellingGUEST
We were hooking up for a bit and it wasn't like I don't know what he was up to.
Beth StellingGUEST
But when it was the pandemonium, I think everybody was being maybe a little more careful.
Beth StellingGUEST
Um, I guess, I mean, like, I'm sure a lot of things date back to my childhood, of course.
Beth StellingGUEST
I, I was a gymnast early, and so, like, I would, like, slick back my hair, you know, put it in a tight ponytail.
Beth StellingGUEST
It was like everything needed to be, like, kind of perfect and controlled, and I think that's how I feel most safe.
19 MINS LATER
Beth StellingGUEST
It's not about, like, promoting abort- like, I made a joke earlier, but it's not about like, "Yay, they're so fun and cool," but it can be healthcare.
Beth StellingGUEST
In a lot of ways it is, right? And also for me, it was a mistake, right? I took plan B, but it didn't work for whatever reason.
Beth StellingGUEST
If you're too close to ovulation, it's just supposed to delay your ovulation.
9 MINS LATER
Beth StellingGUEST
[tongue clicking] BlueChew Gold is a 4-in-1 tablet with a new formula designed to boost blood flow and arousal.
Beth StellingGUEST
My wiener's soft every day, all day, until I take a BlueChew Gold, then finally I'm ready to make love to women.
Beth StellingGUEST
I mean, I feel like it's a, it's, it was already hard enough to me, for me to admit that, like, I was playing on the US Women's Masters team, that I worked really hard to do that.
Beth StellingGUEST
I was like, "Oh, I don't know." And now that I'm not doing it, I really can't sit in it.
8 MINS LATER
Beth StellingGUEST
I had a show in Cincinnati with Kevin James Thornton, another really cool human, and then Saturday, I played Iowa City, and then I came home.
Beth StellingGUEST
She had an eye appointment I took her to, and she's dealing with, you know, facing mortality in some ways, and so that came up.
21 MINS LATER
Beth StellingGUEST
I, I, I think most of us are just shocked that, uh, I have, like, 40 people emailing me all the time asking if they can edit for me-
52 MINS LATER
Beth StellingGUEST
I mean, we're calling anything that these days, and it's on YouTube, and it's called We're Looking for People Who Do Huge Numbers on Social Media.
Beth StellingGUEST
And, and, you know, Republicans right now who are pushing back are defending Trump, which is psychotic.
Beth StellingGUEST
But anybody who is, they're like, "Oh, well, you know, w- we're, Democrats are also benefiting." It's like, yeah, they're all robbing us.
17 MINS LATER
Beth StellingGUEST
Go on, get a little out there into the Big Heart of Nevada, where you can go off road and off the map on two lakes or on horseback.
Beth StellingGUEST
Can you make it to sunrise? There's always something new to see because we've got plenty of space to just be.
52 MINS LATER
Beth StellingGUEST
And he came to see me in Vegas, uh, a couple months ago when I was p- playing.
Beth StellingGUEST
One of the other guys is a comic who I'm friends with who runs The Fort in Fort Collins.
42 MINS LATER
Beth StellingGUEST
Well, I would say she's probably, I don't, I don't know exactly what her deal is, but she for sure, like, doesn't pick up on social cues.
Beth StellingGUEST
It's like the idea of similarly, like, "Hey, what's up? Hey, how are you? Have a good day." And then she would s- if you're like, "Have a good day.
Beth StellingGUEST
I mean, I'm over here getting repeat after repeat, such a disappointment to peel that off the wet cup and... or the fries and find out you just have another frickin' Park Place.
Beth StellingGUEST
I feel like people were, like, truly (laughs) just getting the fries and ripping it off and then throwing the fries in the trash.
Beth StellingGUEST
Such a disappointment to peel that off the wet cup and, or the fries, and find out you just have another frickin' Park Place.
Beth StellingGUEST
I feel like people were, like, truly just getting the fries and ripping it off and then throwing the fries in the trash.
Beth StellingGUEST
It's such a disappointment to peel that off the wet cup and, or the fries, and find out you just have another frickin' Park Place.
Beth StellingGUEST
I feel like people were, like, truly (laughs) just getting the fries and ripping it off and then throwing the fries in the trash.
Jon LovettHOST
Are you worried about them dumping a bucket of maple syrup from the rafters during your set, like pig's blood? Spitting in your Tim Horton's?
Beth StellingGUEST
(laughs) You know, I'm looking for- forward to having Tim Horton's every single day.
17 MINS LATER
Beth StellingGUEST
It reminds me of the, um, what's the, uh, the little messed up Christmas tree from The Peanuts?