Bergschrund

What the hell is this Atoma Arms race I'm caught in all of a sudden? Wouldn't it have been just as good to have the aliens come out later as a dramatic finale and simplify their scoring so contact these players' time for just a handful of daring strokes that could tip the game? Should I throw this game in the driveway? Am I forcing myself as a player across a Bergschrund just because of some cost fallacy? Alert.

Alert.

Pretentious vocabulary word detected.

Yeah, knock it off.

Can you just define and spell the word, please? Pretentious.

P. R.

Knock it off.

Yeah, it was able, it wasn't like terrible.

I was able to ski out the bottom after some time and like get over the Bergschrund and, but that was the end of the season.

And that's the first like really season ending injury I've had in 20 something years.

Sorry, I touched the table.

There is very little snow this year.

The great Bergschrund will be very difficult.

In any season, it is always difficult to cross that Bergschrund onto the steep ice slope beyond.

It is so badly bridged with snow.

This season will be as bad as can be.

It may take you some time to get off the glacier onto your mountain.

There is always a crevasse to cross.

I know, said Sylvia with a smile, the Bergschrund.

And, um, but both of our IT bands weren't gonna allow that.

So then we were just gonna go for the fastest like Bergschrund summit on Fitz Roy by the Super Kan, and we were gonna take like this, um, route that had only seen one ascent.

It was just like the direct route instead of the normal route.

Um, and uh, anyways, the way our strengths balance out, Colin's technically way stronger than me.

Hurrah! What a moment is this! What a moment of exquisite transport, A realization of bliss! To glissade is a pleasant sensation Of which all have written or read; But to taste it in perfect perfection You should learn to glissade on your head.

Hurrah! with a wild scream of triumph, Over snow, over boulders we fly, Our heads firmly pressed to the surface, Our heels pointing up to the sky; We bound o'er the Bergschrund uninjured, We shoot over a precipice sheer.

Hurrah for the modern glissader! Hurrah for the wild mountaineer! But, alas! what is this? what a shaking! What a jar! what a bump! what a thump! Out of bed in intense consternation I bound with a hop, skip, and jump.

For I hear the sweet voice of a person Of whom I with justice am proud: "My dear, when you dream about mountains, I wish you'd not yodel so loud." End of poem.

He came to the front, and thenceforward In wonderful fashion he led, Over rocks, over snow-slopes glissading, While he stood bolt upright on his head! We followed in similar fashion.

Hurrah! what a moment is this! What a moment of exquisite transport, A realization of bliss! To glissade is a pleasant sensation, Of which all have written or read; But to taste it in perfect perfection, You should learn to glissade on your head.

Hurrah! with a wild scream of triumph, Over snow, over boulders we fly, Our heads firmly pressed to the surface, Our heels pointing up to the sky; We bound o'er the Bergschrund uninjured, We shoot o'er a precipice sheer; Hurrah for the modern glissader! Hurrah for the wild mountaineer! But alas! what is this? what a shaking! What a jar, what a bump, what a thump! Out of bed in intense consternation I bound with a hop, skip, and jump; For I hear the sweet voice of a person Of whom I with justice am proud: "My dear, when you dream about mountains, I wish you'd not yodel so loud." End of poem.

This recording is in the public domain.