So I just wonder if you would share a few different stories of how people have really been profoundly frustrated at the end of their rope and turned it around.

Yeah.

Oh, I'd love to.

The first one that comes to mind is just the most recent.

It's a one-on-one client that I'm working with right now, and she came to me because there was betrayal in their past.

He, um, early on in the marriage was unfaithful, and it's been a long time since anything like that, but there's still some really explosive fights between them, more so the explosion from his end.

And then she gets very quiet and very, you know, tries to pacify, and circular conversations, circular fights that never lead to deeper connection.

You're thinking, "How do I get my wife to do this so that we can have this connected interaction and she's not so shut down?" And well, let me just ask, what is your response to that question?

What did it look like for you to look fine on the outside, and what did that cost you?

you?It was the top of my career.

This was before I was a marriage coach, obviously.

I was in a network marketing company.

I was top 2% of the company.

I remember a moment where I earned a free career car, and my whole friends and family came to the car pickup party, and it was a big celebration.

Everyone sees the smile plastered on my face.

Something came up for me.

How did all this start for you?

Yeah.

So if I were to pinpoint the beginning, now being a relationship coach, I go back to the initial starts of my own marriage, and it was my freshman year of college, and I met my now husband, and we started dating.

Early on, I started noticing this dance that at the time I didn't have words for.

I called it chase and run.

I felt like I was energetically chasing and he was running.

When we were good, we were good, but when we were triggered or stressed, it was this dynamic and a deep fear of abandonment, a deep fear of the relationship dissolving from my end.

What happens with the relationship?