That, that differs from a lot of the trans folks that I talk with who grew up not seeing other trans people and maybe not envisioning a future for themselves, but you really did, and then this came along and pulled that rug out from under you.

Yeah, it did.

Um-Like, I think the conversations that I was having internally about death, about not being here, were truly most felt after the hospitalization when I'm just sitting in this experience because the recovery from the surgery itself was super painful.

Um, just without going into all of it, I'm sure, uh, listeners can use their imagination here, um, with an exploratory leg surgery.

But in, in just the after effects, knowing that we're waiting to see if this infection really spread further than what we know.

And I, throughout like life, throughout my transition, I really didn't think the future was super maybe attainable or bright.

I just had things to look forward to and just knew I could wait.

Um, this is Bailey Buckles reading, "Is This New or Just Newly Felt?"