Armor All

You know the one.

A few years older than you, had a car that smelled like Armor All, fast food, and decisions nobody needed to know about.

Your parents thought he was taking you to a mall, maybe an arcade, maybe to see some nice, respectable movie where the dog saves the family and everybody learns something before the credits even roll.

Your cousin had other plans, though, because according to him...

And I'm sitting there.

Armorall, basically.

Yeah, Armorall, yeah.

It's Armorall wipes.

So after I ate, I did the Armorall wipe thing.

My car doesn't smell like food, but...

but I prefer to do that.

Well, maybe that's why I spewed.

It might have been a strong scent of armour all in your jaw.

It could have been.

Is that because your nose

I'm not going to

dumb it down.

How do we go from armour all

arses to pink zone? You told me to be serious.

We have employees, so we know how this works.

Employee gets in it, drives it, they get off the gravel road, they get the Armor All out, and they clean the tires.

This literally happened, and they, they still get...

What did he get? 85,000 miles out of a set of tires or something?

I mean, little three-ounce cans were, like, 15 bucks back then.

But it w- it, it was the anti-Armoral.

It was the best.

Oh.

Ev- Uh, uh, and I don't say that about, um, kind of Sega.

I, I just tell you guys, everywhere we go, everybody like Armor All's the truck tires and the tractors, uh, the skid, you know, tracks.

I'm like- Really? Like, that's what that looks like every day? Like, no, actually I think it was ca- paved, paved in mud.

It looked like it came out of a pig pen.

So like the inside of my truck is kind of a disaster.

Probably once, maybe twice a year, I may go through it with like some Armor All or something and kind of clean it out and really try and like when I get stuff start to pile up in there in my cup holders, like patches that have fallen off the headliner or, you know, things like that that happen.

I've got these little belt buckle things that you can put in your belt.

So if I have gear in my seat, it's not setting off the bing, bing, bing all the time because it thinks that there's a person there without a seatbelt.