Apple Martin

It's the US.

They name their children anything over there, don't they? Gwyneth Paltrow named her child Apple.

The third.

So, congratulations.

Uh, okay.

Next, Apple Martin has a boyfriend.

Apple Martin has a boyfriend.

Apple Martin-

Who cares? Apple Martin has a boyfriend

... has a boyfriend.

Okay.

These two make a connection.

That is Lena Dunham's husband slash now baby daddy.

But for me, the definite highlight of this Vogue article that Lena Dunham wrote is where she says that she once worked at a high-end baby's clothing store in her early 20s right out of college, where she once sold Gwyneth Paltrow a bunch of pink sweaters for a then-infant version of Apple Martin.

Just gorgeous.

Would have loved to have that experience for myself.

So I'm very happy that Lena got to do that.

I really need Apple Martin to have a ho phase, I've decided.

It looks like she wants one.

She looks like she's ready to pounce, I would say.

Well, back in the day, well, because there's some interesting and strange names.

And I would imagine grandparents aren't going to go, you called him what? Apple.

They just told off.

Yeah, imagine your grandkid was called Apple.

Well, there's

apples out there.

there.

There is one apple.

old were you when you did?

I was 30 when I had Apple.

Okay.

Didn't have

Yes, I feel like you did.

What's that mean? Oh.

Apple.

What do you mean? I remember hearing about...

It is driving me crazy every time I see it, which is every day, multiple times a day.

The press has taken to calling Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter Apple Martin, and Apple is...

Uh, she's, like, 20-something now.

Apple is breathtaking.

Yeah

... that's the thing about it.

My, um, one of my daughters, Olivia, she, she is great.

She's a very adventurous eater now, which is hysterical because as a child, you know, I couldn't get a piece of watermelon into her mouth.

That's right.

I could call my kid Apple if I wanted to because my name is Gwyneth Paltrow.

No, more, you know, more than the Carlos Sainz.

Listen, I get why Carlos Sainz would want it.

how many followers does actual apple martini have on tiktok

oh let me see is apple martin on tiktok I keep forgetting it's

fucking...

Kira, I didn't know it was fucking Chris Martin of Coldplay whenever we were making the characters last

Yes.

Why yes?

Apple Martin.

I was doing notes, and I was like, oh, let me actually look up Apple Martin, see if I get any inspiration, and it's like...

They had a kid

together, Apple.

Right, that's right.

And so they brought her in and did a phony PR commercial.