Or, and then it's

like, oh, you can use dilators or you can use candles to like stretch your vagina.

Right.

So this is like, so these are the, yes, yes.

So this is like, you know, the thing that we're talking about when we're talking about sex is like, we don't know about it because we don't talk about like what the mechanics are, how the pleasure is.

There's nothing about pleasure, but we're bracing ourselves and, and our bodies are bracing for this painful impact, right? And that's basically how it's messaged and how it was messaged to me.

So when I was having painful sex in my marriage and unsatisfying sex, one, I didn't have anyone to turn to, because who do I talk to about this stuff? Two, is this normal? Maybe this is normal, right? And so when I finally was leaving that marriage, I had a conversation with one of my best friends who's a doctor.

What would you tell them?