agoraphobia

I'm not wanted in Europe.

Agoraphobic.

We can leave the house if you want.

I'm-

I forget what it's called, like the fear of the outside.

Agoraphobia.

Agoraphobia, yep.

So she had that, and obviously it tr- that traumatized the little kid when you're like, "Don't go outside.

They'll get you.

And I also talk about this in my lecture on brain retraining and neural alchemy, because this is also how I recovered from mast cell activation syndrome and rewired food allergies and things like that, is I believed so strongly in my body in this projected future Leighton who did not have these things and I was embodying her and I was, you know, feeling that, you know, what does she do every day? What does she, what does she eat? How does she feel when she's eating, eating these foods? How does she, feel when she gets to listen to these songs without dissociating or leave the house without dissociating and all of these things.

And so it became what ended up feeling like this form of method acting where I had really bad agoraphobia at the time and full transparency.

Agoraphobia is something I've dealt with throughout my entire life, and I've gotten significantly better at it.

and this is largely why because when this comes up i refuse to let it be my identity and so if i if i feel that trigger i um i override it by attempting to to kind of rewire that neural pathway so i very much saw this as a science as something that could be approached that way and rewired and i was doing that with pretty much everything and so I became obsessed with the concept of the body and how powerful the brain and body are because of that.

And then I later found somatic therapy and went through that.