Al-Anon/Alateen

And that scene made me want care.

Like Ray needs Al-Anon.

Yeah.

So

Al-Anon is a 12 step program for family members of people who have an addiction.

And why it's important is because when you love someone who has an addiction, it's understandable that like when people get sober, sometimes divorce happens because the partner is like, I don't know this person.

I never knew this person.

I was too busy being in my active addiction to see that this is a terrible relationship for me.

So unlike you.

I thought that I met this person in an Al-Anon meeting and I think that's true.

But I also think that I met him in a Saturday morning meeting and I don't want anyone to be alarmed.

But it's not Richard Dreyfuss.

I, you know, lived with her alcoholism and I'll let her tell her story.

But I got to see the flip side of the coin around Al-Anon and knowing that she's a great person, beautiful person inside and out, but was very, very sick.

And seeing... her alcoholism and living with her alcoholism, knowing what's wrong with her, knowing why she's sick and why she's doing what she's doing.

And there's not a damn thing that I can do about it.

And Howard, at that time, I just, this all came from AA.

Wow.

My current sponsor is someone who's had experience in Al-Anon as well.

I've gone to some Al-Anon

And as a teenager and being the only child living in that house, that was a really hard thing to grapple with.

But I did join Al-Anon.

I had a wonderful teacher who put me in touch with Al-Anon.

And it really taught me that her drinking had nothing to do with me.

And so in a crazy, crazy way, that prepared me.

Recovery is not only available to the individual, the quote unquote identified patient within the family, but is also available to you.

And a lot of great resources, Al-Anon or Catholic and Recovery Family and Friends Recovery Meetings, um, And to the extent of, you know, this can be generational, create generational challenges.

There's a lot of people in our community, adult children of dysfunctional homes, who recognize that patterns of growing up in a dysfunctional or an alcoholic home have created patterns that kept them safe and protected at the time, but can make intimate and... personal relationships in adulthood very challenging because those traits or those patterns are carried into adulthood.

And, you know, we people please, we believe we need to be perfect.

and you know we combined genes and i thought my kid is gonna be maybe she'll be an alan on you know and what ended up happening is that when she was 13 and i didn't know she started using drugs and doing drinking and doing other things and she ended up in rehab when she was 21. and so i and my mother took her to rehab just like my mother had taken me to rehab when i was 20.

And, you know, I didn't understand the pain my mother had until that moment because I had never experienced it, right? But turning my daughter over to the program, you know, and I'm also in Al-Anon, you know, so...

So all of those things I've had... and done abstaining.

The other thing is that, you know, sometimes we think, oh, I've got this handled, and my food is good, and, you know, I have, I don't, I don't like the word abstinent, because to me it sounds like something bad, like you're abstaining from something, like it's a negative, has a negative connotation, so I call my food plan, my food plan for life.

who were happy to be two hundred pounds really inspired me and you know it's like i have a i have a lot of issues i'm not i don't think i'm alcoholic i live with a bunch of alcoholics i have two sons and a husband who are not drinking but not working program so i i do some al-adhan i should go to declutterers you know there's a lot of stuff but who you know i think god what am i gonna do just live in meetings every day my credits should transfer because god i you know i got a life to live i can't be just 12 stepping all over the place So, you know, I'm often conflicted about that.

You know, my Saturdays are taken up, my Monday nights are taken up, and then I've got to make phone calls, and I've got to do all this chopping of the vegetables.

Jesus, when am I going to go to Al-Anon, and when am I going to do this and that? So...

I wish the credits transferred, and I'm still trying to find a way to make them happen.

I just spent a week... on an island where there is not a member of Alcoholics Anonymous on the whole island.

There's not a member of Al-Anon.

I was there with a close friend of mine that's in AA and two Al-Anons, and there was no meetings.

There was nothing but us.

And by the end of the week, we had just about figured out what was wrong with each other.

I jokingly say I speak seven languages.

I speak Al-Anon, A-A-N-A, CODA, A-C-A, S-L-A-A, and O-A.

It took me a long time to come to terms with the reality that I have a disorder around eating.

I was a restrictor.